If the world can't tell whether or not you are a Christian, then how do you stand out? When you claim to be a Christian, trust me, people are always watching and waiting for you to act in an ungodly manner so they can call you a hypocrite. Instead of being a bad example, your lifestyle should point to God so strongly others want to get to know Jesus. I will start this series from the outside. If we look like the world on the outside, how are people to believe what we say?
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. 1 Timothy 2:9-10
God has been laying it on my heart for several months to write on the topic of modesty, but I have been putting it off, knowing it may not be well-received.
When I was younger I often and sang (or played my trumpet) for the church. When attending a new church, the pastor's wife approached me the first time I was scheduled to sing there and gave me a dress code. Although I was only 21 or 22 at the time, I appreciated and respected the church's rules of modesty. However, watching a Christian singer on YouTube a few weeks ago reminded me the modesty codes of churches 30 years ago have drastically changed and I cannot keep silent on this issue. The female singer I am referring to was singing at a very well-known church founded by a man with strong holiness views (he has since passed away). The singer always dresses modestly because she also claims to have holiness views. However, her backup singers were wearing very short skirts and high heels. Let's not pretend these women were ignorant that their outfits would get male attention. First, I do not know if the background singers were the main singer's personal choir or were chosen by the church. Either way, that leads me to ask why neither the church nor the "holiness" singer are encouraging its women to dress modestly. Who were they trying to glorify? Not God!
O ye sons of men, how long will ye turn my glory into shame? how long will ye love vanity, and seek after leasing? Psalm 4:2
Neither 1 Timothy 2 (above) or 1 Peter 3 (below) say we should not have nice hairstyles, wear jewelry, or dress in nice clothes, they are simply reminding us that our looks should not be our primary focus. Instead, our focus should be on godliness.
Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves. I Peter 3:3-5
The way women dress themselves and their children becomes more obscene every year. In today's society, the way women dress begs for attention. The short shorts, low cut and/or tight tops, see-through clothing, miniskirts, skintight pants/leggings, crop tops, and all bathing suits are designed to show off as much as possible for no other reason than to stir up lust in the opposite sex. Men are turned on by sight alone, and women are not naïve enough to let this fact pass over her head. Although not all of us, but most women like to tease and titillate. Why do you think pornography is a million (or is it billion) dollar industry?
Ladies, if you claim to be a Christian and are dressing provocatively, why? You are trying to titillate men and show off your figure. Lust and vanity are both against what the Lord teaches.
For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is NOT of the Father, but IS of the world. 1 John 2:16
It is bad enough when a single woman is trying to purposefully stimulate men, but when it is a married woman, it is even worse. This revolves around vanity, or more specifically, being so vain you place your ego above your mate to the point you have become disloyal to your marriage.
Let's start with Facebook (or other social media). I see so many men and women who are married that have only a picture of themselves as a profile picture. This is not so bad, (although I believe husbands and wives should have a joint Facebook page) but what irritates me is when they are posed in a provocative way and/or dressed to show off their body. A look of, "Hey, everybody, check me out; aren't I cute!" is written all over his/her face. Rather than, "Look at my spouse and me; aren't we an adorable couple?" Simply including your mate in your profile picture says to the world that you are very happily spoken for, and you are proud of your marriage.
When I see a woman with a man (whether he is the husband or not) dressed in a way that leaves little to the imagination, it really makes me sad (especially when they have kids with them). My husband, Mel, has put it perfectly; he says that women like that are never going to be loyal. If she wants all men's eyes on her, then she is not honoring the man she is with, be it boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. Logic says if she is willing to show off so much skin and does not care who she titillates, she is willing to cheat on her spouse. If you do not want the attention, then why dress that way? You can be perfectly comfortable in a modest sundress, capris, and not a hint of cleavage needs to be showing even in 100-degree temperatures. I have seen many women dressed modestly and still be fashionable. Therefore, using the excuse that it is hot will not work; the truth is that it is all about vanity. God hates vanity and pride.
These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look... Proverbs 6:16-17
Matthew 5:28 makes it very clear lusting after someone is a sin, so why would you encourage someone to sin just to boost your own ego?
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Matthew 5:28
When you get married, it is, as Genesis 2:23-24 states, becoming one flesh. You belong to each other. We may not be property in the literal sense, but in a way, we are each other’s property. We belong to God first, then our mate.
Do not dress provocatively. The only man I want looking at me with lust is Mel. I cannot control who looks at me, but I can control the way I dress outside our home. I am not talking turtlenecks and only ankle-length skirts (although I feel decent length for skirts should be at least mid-calf length and shorts should be at least to your knees), but I use common sense on what would be considered inappropriate. If in doubt, I ask Mel, "Is this too short?" "Is this too low cut?" "Can you see through this?" “Is this too tight?” And I fully trust his opinions. I want to honor both God and my husband with my body
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I am especially saddened by parents encouraging their innocent children to dress provocatively. It is a parent’s job to protect their children from all kinds of harm including pedophiles. Do you think these creeps full of perversion are failing to leer at your immodestly dressed child because they (or you) want your child to look "cute"? I will say it again, parents need to protect their children, which includes making better choices on how they dress and act around adults! It is not as if all pedophiles have a large "P" on their forehead. You do not know who is happily titillated that you dressed your child in so little clothing and are parading him/her all over town! Or have him/her dancing to secular music and post the very adult movements all over social media. You know I am not talking about innocent kids' dances such as "I'm a Little Tea Pot." Kids as young as 2 years old are being offered up as entertainment all over social media dancing to proactive song lyrics and imitating the sexual movements while the adults laugh. God is not laughing! In fact, He weeps for this loss of innocence.
But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Matthew 18:6
This does not just go for women wearing provocative clothing, but for men as well. I know that certain styles are in fashion, and most will think I am just being old-fashioned, but a lot of these styles represent a secular lifestyle, which includes the drug culture. Being a stand-out Christian in a secular world has more to with how we present ourselves on the outside (which I will explore later in this series) but think twice about why you want to look a certain way. Is it because you are more concerned with being a man-pleaser than a God-pleaser? Who are you trying to imitate, the world or God?
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