The Path in Front of Me

Our last walk at Fisher Pond inspired this blog.  You can place it under the category of: “You can find a sermon in anything.”  Something my dad (who is a preacher) used to say all the time.

Yesterday started off with both Mel and I feeling blue.  Getting out for some fresh air is always good for both of us whenever we feel this way.  We decided to go to our new favorite walking trail, Fischer Pond.  It has snowed every day for at least four days, and yesterday was the first dry and sunny day in a while.  The sun very often hides behind the clouds here and seldom shows itself.  We figured we would be in for a cold walk and a snowy path, but we did not expect it to be so icy.  We had to walk slowly and it made for a bit of a tedious walk, although, as you can see by the pictures in my last post, it was very beautiful. 

While we were carefully walking, trying not to fall, I said something along the lines of, “As long as we keep our eyes on the path in front of us and do not get distracted by the unseen path ahead, we are less likely to slip.”  Then I laughed and added, “Now I know what my next blog will be about.” 

It is just as in life, that as long as we keep our eyes on where we are at that moment and do not focus too much on what is unseen, we are less likely to fall.  It is so easy to worry about what tomorrow holds and want so very much to see ahead.  The same can also be said if we try to look behind and focus too much on the past.  If we had turned our heads behind as we walked on the icy path, we certainly would have fallen.  Therefore, as soon as we take our eyes from what God is trying to show us, we slip; we fail to see what God is trying to teach us. 

I am not saying I have finally figured out why the heartbreaking things in this life happen, because I do not feel I will have a single answer until the next life.  What I am saying is that I am trying to focus more on the path in front of me, not on what is behind me (although my grief is still very present), and try to see what God is wanting to show me in the here-and-now.

Simple and not very profound, but it is what was laid on my heart for today! 

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. – Matthew 6:34

 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,  I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:12-14

Ramblings From a Humble Heart

As I am pondering the future of this and my cooking blog http://animalsfaithmiddleearth.blogspot.com/ I find myself feeling very humble and very insignificant.  I never expected to end up with over 10,000 views.  I figured I would be lucky to get a few hits every few weeks. 

Who am I to write a blog giving other people advice on marriage?  I had somewhere between a B- to a C+ average in high school, and I attended college for less than two years.  In other words, I have no degrees, and I am not an authority in any field. 

Although I have been writing novels since the age of thirteen, I have never been published.  My English teachers always loved me, but I have never had any sort of accomplishments in the area of my writing; it has merely been a hobby.

I try very hard to keep my eyes focused on Christ, but I struggle in areas of my faith, especially now that we are not even sure where we will be sleeping come October 1st.  I am overwhelmed with packing and not knowing where these items will even end up.  I can barely contain my tears as the day to say good bye to all my animals grows closer and closer.  I do my best to be a woman after God's heart and separate myself from the world, and yet I still struggle with swearing and other issues.

What I do know is that my marriage is strong and will survive anything.  Mel and I talk about every single issue that is on our minds.  As we are facing a serious crisis, it is more important than ever that we keep conversation going, even when it is difficult to talk.

I know that I am not an expert in any field, but my marriage is happy, romantic, and peaceful.  I especially know that we have such a wonderful marriage because we place God first, which makes everything else fall into place.

I know that God loves me and understands my doubts.  I know that God speaks to us if we are willing to listen. When I was crying today I heard His familiar voice say to me, Don't give up yet.  When I asked, "Why not?"  He answered with, Because God is still on His throne.  Yes, He is, and even though I am unsure of many things right now, I am sure that God, indeed is still on His throne and He has not forsaken Mel or me.

I am like the little girl in the picture at the top (she even kind of looks like me when I was a child).  I am kneeling in humbleness and seeking God.  And He is right there beside me, full of grace and compassion. Armed with such knowledge, I can face another day, no matter what happens.  God truly cares about what happens to Mel and me, and He will not let us drown.  Even if no one else believes it, and even if we do not see the big picture, I still know this to be true. 

This song has been ministering to both Mel and me a lot lately.  Please check it out:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chlrftb3e_E  In fact, I would recommend this entire album "Breathe In" by Phillips, Craig, & Dean as the entire CD is very inspired and my favorite of all theirs (so far).

Pornography is not a Victimless Sin (Written by Mel and Julie)

Written by Mel and Julie

This article is about the dangers of adult pornography and does not necessarily go into depths of the dangers of child pornography; that is an issue all onto itself! 

First, we want to make several things clear:  we do not believe men are the only offenders.  That brings us to the other thing we want to make clear: we do not see pornography as just naked pictures, but sex scenes in movies and books can be pornographic as well.  People, particularly women, can be just as addicted to smutty novels as men can be to naked pictures of women. 

Society will tell you it is the spouse’s fault if his/her mate looks at pornography.  Julie just read a statement yesterday that said something like, “your husband looks at pornography because you are not properly arousing him and you must work harder to do so.”  We wish we had copied the statement, but it was on MSN under an article about sex myths in marriage.  Well, the writer of the article just wrote a BIG LIE!  Just like it is not your fault if your spouse cheats, it is not your fault of he/she looks at porn! It is the offender who needs deliverance from sin. 

Matthew 5:28 “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Pornography is not a victimless sin.  Your family will always suffer if you allow viewing such filth to corrupt you. If you make it clear that you do not see anything wrong with looking at naked women to whom you are not married, you are teaching your children it is okay to demean women and that their mother is not enough for you.  You are raising them to be disrespectful of women and see women as only sexual objects.  If you have/had a daughter, how would you feel if men were ogling her the way you lust over someone else’s child?

Jeremiah 23:24 Can anyone hide himself in secret places, So I shall not see him?” says the Lord; “Do I not fill heaven and earth?” says the Lord.

Yes, we are very well aware that most of the people in the magazines and web sites are there by their own choice.  Yet, the viewer does not know this as absolute fact.  That young-faced adult could very easily be a child forced into the sex trade very much against his/her will.  Now, you are not only supporting smut, you are supporting robbing children of their innocence.  Do you think those viewers ever think of that?  They would if suddenly their missing child showed up on a pornography site.  This does not just happen in foreign countries; sex trade for under age children is a very real problem in this country too.    

Mark 4:22 “For there is nothing hidden which will not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light.

It is a proven fact that pornography creates serial killers and rapists.  Ted Bundy is probably one of the most notorious serial murder/rapist that admitted his addiction to porn is what peak his interest in killing.  We are not saying all who are addicted to porn become killers and/or rapists, but it is a very, very real trend.  Just as an alcoholic starts to need more and more booze to get him drunk, so the smut addict needs more and more provocative images to turn him on.  He searches out other types of porn, often leading to live performances, and when he cannot get satisfaction, it is a very real possibility he will take it by force.

Pornography is so easily acceptable that men/woman of all ages are walking around continually seeking visual stimulation.  The way women dress becomes more and more obscene every year. Women and even children dress in shorts so short their butt cheeks hang out, their tops are see-through, and they have no problem bending over in a skirt so short you know what color underwear they have on.  There is very little modesty left in our society.  It makes it very difficult for those who choose to dress modestly because men have been trained to believe that all women want is to be drooled over and gawked at.  We hate this because we are married and extremely loyal to one another.  Also, because it makes Julie’s skin crawl as she does not know what these strange men are thinking as they very openly lean their heads out of car windows to stare, or very obviously look her up and down.  It has gotten to where she hates going out in public at all and very rarely goes alone.  It is because men are so full of lust they see every woman as a sexual object and have no problem making her feel uncomfortable.  And it doesn’t matter if he has a wife with them or if we are together as a very obvious couple!

Pornography is also a huge problem with Christians because the church has the culture well ingrained within it. Mel was shocked by a comment made by a leader of a home Bible study group.  He asked the people, “Do you know why over 50% of Pastors view some form of pornography?”  Then he remarked, “Because they are human that’s why.”  This man is the product of the modern day lukewarm church that tolerates everything. God’s Word teaches us that we must repent of our sins and be born again in order to be saved. To be born again means to put off our old sinful nature and to become a new creation in Christ.  God’s Word is clear that we must not touch what is unclean!

II Corinthians 6:17 Therefore “Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you.”

 Here are some startling statistics:  The photograph was invented in 1839, and in just 11 quick years the word “pornographer” was seeded into our dictionary. Pictures of prostitutes were sold at an alarming rate. When surveyed, 53% of men who attended Promise Keepers said they viewed pornography that week. More than 45% of Christians admit that pornography is a major problem in their home. An anonymous survey conducted recently by Pastors.com reported that 54% of pastors admitted viewing porn within the last year. In an online newsletter, 34% of female readers of Today’s Christian Woman admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn. One out of every six women who read Today’s Christian Woman say they struggle with addiction to pornography (Today’s Christian Woman, Fall 2003). The problem is that the churches are failing to preach on repentance, as well as holiness and have replaced the truth with their form of perverted grace doctrine. There is not grace for un-repented sins. Christ’s atonement on the cross is only for sins that we repent of, as well as sins committed in ignorance.

This is not an easy subject to end, so we will end with this:

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

The Truth About Affairs

I ran into an old friend last week.  We had always suspected a certain man and woman were having an affair, but weren't positive.  She told me she had recently caught the two of them together in a near-kiss.  She said things between them were so out of hand that even clients were making comments.  I asked her if he was still married, and she said he was.  This affair has been going for a minimum of 2 years (probably closer to 3). 

Exodus 20:14 states, “You shall not commit adultery."  Could it be any more clear?   

I know I've mentioned many times my feelings on affairs, but after the conversation last week, I felt the need to address it again.  I have felt disturbed in my soul ever since.  It was pretty obvious several years ago that these two people were getting close to an affair.  They flirted constantly and were less and less subtle about sharing sexual innuendos back and forth.  He is her boss and very obviously gave her special favors including the highest salary in the office in spite of the fact she had been there the shortest amount of time.  My post is not about anyone specific, but I am just pointing this out because it is a perfect example of what I wrote about a few posts ago: that flirting is never harmless and often leads to much more dangerous territory.  So please be aware of how you act around the opposite sex.  Are you simply friendly, or are you outright flirting.  Ask others if you are unsure.  By the way, the dictionary definition of flirting is: "to act amorously; play at love; to trifle or toy, as with an idea."  Says a lot doesn't it?  Says right there that it's toying with an idea, such as an affair.

Proverbs 6:32, "Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; He who does so destroys his own soul." Affairs are not glamorous, sexy, exciting, fun, funny, or romantic.  They are raunchy, soul-destroying, family-ruining, nasty, evil things.

I have known too many people who have had affairs, and I have heard far too many excuses.  The most common are: mid-life crisis, I was hurt as a child, he/she cheated on me first, he/she is too controlling, I have a deeper desire for sex than he/she does, I no longer desire him/her, I want to teach him/her a lesson, men in the bible were allowed to have more than one wife, it makes me feel sexy, or just because I want to.  There is no such thing as a good excuse because there is never any good reason to have an affair.  All of these issues are fixable if you are willing to do the work.  There is no shame in seeking professional help.  And if you truly love your spouse, you'll risk the awkwardness of talking to a your spouse, a spiritual mentor, or psychologist in order to save your marriage before an affair happens.  Afterwards it may be too late.

If you truly love your spouse as I so crazily love mine, you would never even dream of cheating.  The idea would  make you want to vomit.  Which is why the conversation I had last week has been bothering me so much.  Affairs make me sick!  Bottom line to me is that if you are willing to cheat, you don't truly love your spouse.  In my opinion, those who cheat are clearly showing they are not in love with their mate.  But that is still no excuse to dishonor your wedding vows.  After all, you chose to get married.

Keep this in mid too: if you choose to be the one cheating with a married person, he does not love you.  Once a cheater, always a cheater.  Even if he leaves his wife for you, statistics say he will not be faithful to you either.  If he's willing to trade his wife in for a younger model, he'll most likely trade you in as well.

I've said it before, affairs are not only physical, they can also be mental and emotional. Granted, they are not as dangerous, but have great potential to lead down darker paths.  Chatting too much with someone other than your spouse on line or through texts is still cheating.  And yes, affairs happen in the mind as well.  Matthew 5:28, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Affairs ruin more than marriages, they destroy families.  I've it seen over and over again: a once bright and sunny child becomes sullen and possibly even a troublemaker after such an event. It makes them see everyone around them as untrustworthy.  Children are affected no matter what age they are when they learn of a parent's infidelity.  I've known adults whose parents got divorced due to an affair (or two), and it deeply wounded them to their very souls.  One 24 year-old woman almost committed suicide because she was so devastated by her mother cheating on her father.  She would have succeeded had not a friend discovered her in the midst of trying to end her own life. (She was even 5 or 6  months pregnant at the time.)  Another woman was terrified of marriage because she was afraid there was no such thing as true love if those who claimed to be in love were willing to betray a spouse in such a horrible fashion.  She shied away from even getting a crush on a man because of her trust issues.

If you are in the middle of an affair, stop!  Seek help immediately.  You may or may not be able to save your marriage, but if you repent, you will save your soul.

Whether you are married or single, if you are ever tempted to have an affair, please remember this: Corinthians 10:13" No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."  There is always a way out and the opportunity to say no and walk away.  There are no excuses.  Period.   

Here are some other blogs I have written that mention this same subject.  Also Dr. James Dobson is an excellent source for many materials on marriage.

http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2014/01/eye-candy.html

http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-jealous-love.html

http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2013/02/it-makes-so-much-more-sense-to-me-now.html

http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2013/01/be-accountable-to-each-other-facebook.html

http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2012/08/flesh-of-my-flesh.html