As I am pondering the future of this and my cooking blog http://animalsfaithmiddleearth.blogspot.com/ I find myself feeling very humble and very insignificant. I never expected to end up with over 10,000 views. I figured I would be lucky to get a few hits every few weeks.
Who am I to write a blog giving other people advice on marriage? I had somewhere between a B- to a C+ average in high school, and I attended college for less than two years. In other words, I have no degrees, and I am not an authority in any field.
Although I have been writing novels since the age of thirteen, I have never been published. My English teachers always loved me, but I have never had any sort of accomplishments in the area of my writing; it has merely been a hobby.
I try very hard to keep my eyes focused on Christ, but I struggle in areas of my faith, especially now that we are not even sure where we will be sleeping come October 1st. I am overwhelmed with packing and not knowing where these items will even end up. I can barely contain my tears as the day to say good bye to all my animals grows closer and closer. I do my best to be a woman after God's heart and separate myself from the world, and yet I still struggle with swearing and other issues.
What I do know is that my marriage is strong and will survive anything. Mel and I talk about every single issue that is on our minds. As we are facing a serious crisis, it is more important than ever that we keep conversation going, even when it is difficult to talk.
I know that I am not an expert in any field, but my marriage is happy, romantic, and peaceful. I especially know that we have such a wonderful marriage because we place God first, which makes everything else fall into place.
I know that God loves me and understands my doubts. I know that God speaks to us if we are willing to listen. When I was crying today I heard His familiar voice say to me, Don't give up yet. When I asked, "Why not?" He answered with, Because God is still on His throne. Yes, He is, and even though I am unsure of many things right now, I am sure that God, indeed is still on His throne and He has not forsaken Mel or me.
I am like the little girl in the picture at the top (she even kind of looks like me when I was a child). I am kneeling in humbleness and seeking God. And He is right there beside me, full of grace and compassion. Armed with such knowledge, I can face another day, no matter what happens. God truly cares about what happens to Mel and me, and He will not let us drown. Even if no one else believes it, and even if we do not see the big picture, I still know this to be true.
This song has been ministering to both Mel and me a lot lately. Please check it out:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chlrftb3e_E In fact, I would recommend this entire album "Breathe In" by Phillips, Craig, & Dean as the entire CD is very inspired and my favorite of all theirs (so far).
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