Julie's Poetry, Part 1, 1991-1994

I do not write poems very often (I am not a very good poet), but I wanted to share these very honest poems with you. I was still rough around the edges in my walk with the Lord, but these poems show a thread of faith throughout my life as I grew in the Lord. There are a lot of them so I have divided them into three parts.  I have not written any new poems since 2017.

“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

Be Still (1991)

Be still…

My heart pounds and I clench my fists,

I can feel my frustrations surge again,

The tears sit quietly in the corners of my eyes

And know…

What waits for me?

Are my dreams to remain wishes?

Will I even know when reality comes?

That I…

I cannot grasp what is to be,

There are no visible signs leading me,

I do not know what the future holds

Am God!

The Peace of His strength now surrounds me,

Life’s questions begin to fade,

What waits for me will come

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." Pslam 27:13

Waiting (1993)

I’ve heard it said before

That only the wicked are downcast,

Only they are restless with life,

But even I,

With Christ at my side,

Even I am impatient

I long for a better future,

Expecting to again love life,

Though nothing ever changes,

Yet I still wait,

Praying for a miracle,

But I wait with an open heart

A prophecy was spoken one night,

Telling me of God’s love,

It said He was planning my future,

And as I cried,

With bitter tears turned to pearls,

I cried with hope and peace

God’s love is teaching me every day

To trust whatever He has planned,

There is freedom in God’s words

And I love Him,

Knowing His promises are true,

I love Him with all my heart

"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

Mercy (1993)

I sit alone to talk to You,

But words are so hard to come by,

I want to speak of my love for You,

But You are so hard to comprehend,

You surrendered Your dignity to be nailed to a tree,

How can I put such an act into words?

In all Your majesty and glory, Lord,

You allow me to come,

Alone I will be with You,

To bask in Your mercy

When I failed You and broke Your heart,

You still loved and cherished me, Lord,

And never gave up on me,

Compassion saw past my stubborn heart,

And allowed me to come back into Your arms,

To lean on Your love alone,

Knowing Your mercy will always find me

No matter how hard life may be,

Your love brings things into perspective,

Your grace makes life bearable,

And my trust remains in You

“Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; try my reins and my heart. For thy lovingkindness is before mine eyes: and I have walked in thy truth." Psalm 26:2-3

My Prayer (1993)

Dear Lord,

Anger rose up within me today…

How could one more bad thing happen?

How could I possibly handle more?

I am not so strong, Lord.

But as I opened up Your word,

A wave of Your comfort swept over me;

You knew how much I needed Your love.

Your compassionate voice told me all I needed was You.

You also gently reminded me of my words:

I asked You to test me, Lord,

I begged for You to make me stronger 

Make me ready to serve You - -

Whatever it takes, Lord;

I am willing to be used by and for You.

And as I grow emotionally bound to You,

And the tears I used to hate surge,

I am comforted by those tears,

For You are the One who caused them to be,

And through them, I am stronger,

For I feel You most when I am weak,

And even while I’m telling You my day’s woes,

You empower ne in Your love…

I love You, Lord!

Thank You for trusting me enough to test me - -

I will do my best for You.

Amen

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:" John 10:27

The Voice (1994)

So many frustrations in my life,

So many hardships to bear,

Yet a peace encloses my heart,

And a Voice gently tells me not to fear

My senses come alive as this Voice speaks…

I have heard that sound before.

The soothing Voice that calms my anxieties

Is my dearest friend - - my Lord Jesus Christ!

"Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." John 8:12

True Happiness (1994)

I have discovered happiness is surreal,

There is no real joy in this world,

Pain lurks around every corner,

Ready to drag down another victim

If only I look past worldly boundaries,

I can see a brighter Light - -

A Light that dims the sun,

And where there is never any darkness

I reach for that Light - -

Though I am uncertain what it brings,

For I know it is Jesus Christ,

And His peace is all I need to know

If only I will let Him lead me,

And use only desires He gives to me,

Then His happiness will bring comfort,

And this world’s pleasures won’t mean a thing

"And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away... And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works." Revelation 20:11-13

Judgment Day (1994)

When all is said and done,

And I stand before my Lord,

He will not ask me of my wealth,

Nor will He ask about my successes,

He does not care whether I wore the proper fashion,

For this world will fade away;

What my God really wants to know

Is if I truly loved Him with all my heart,

Did I desire His perfect will for my life

And seek His guidance with fervent prayer?

Am I practicing all I read in His holy word?

Or am I a hearer only?

Am I a quiet witness?

Do I shout His name in the streets?

Or do I pretend He means nothing to me?

When I meet my Jesus face to face,

And bow in fear and reverence,

I want Him to know that He is everything to me,

And that I tried to be everything for Him. 

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

Because of Men (1994)

Because of men,

Women go weak in the knees,

They write enough poetry to fit into a book,

They cry and feel pain,

And make fools of themselves

Because of men,

Women settle down to marry,

They learn to cook and clean,

They become mothers

And begin a happy home

Because of mankind,

Jesus died upon a cross,

He wrote them a love story in His Holy book,

He cried and felt pain,

He let them make Him look like a fool

Because of mankind,

Christ rose from the dead

He returned to heaven

He prepared a place for them

He offers a happy home

“ I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me!" Philippians 4:13

Philippians 4:13 (1994) 

God, help me,

I can barely find the strength to breathe,

There is so much weighing on my soul,

And I fear this time it’s there to stay;

Give me strength, sweet Jesus,

I cannot do this without You;

I feel I will fall if You let go,

Please hold me tighter - -

I need You!

Don’t give up on me, Lord,

It would be so easy;

Don’t let me cease to believe in You,

For I feel my doubts are stronger than I am - -

They are pulling me so hard,

I feel I am drowning!

O, Heavenly Father, save me,

Don’t let me lose sight of Your love,

Pull me up from despair,

Don’t let me give in to disbelief,

Make me trust in You more;

I know I have pushed You away,

But I’ve always known I need You;

Let me come to You, dear Savior,

I feel I can no longer burden You,

But I need You once again;

I will never stop needing You,

For without You I am weak,

But through Your strength,

I can do all things!

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance." Psalm 42:5

Sometimes (1994)

Sometimes I actually forget,

And everything seems... normal,

There is no fear,

No doubt,

But then an unexplainable anger will come

In remembrance of all that's ripping me apart

Sometimes I blame God,

And He feels so far away,

I cannot feel His presence,

And praying seems futile,

But then I realize how much I need Him,

And He pulls me back into His arms