My Testimony, Part 6: 2022-Present
The meme I am including in this blog is an obvious spoiler of what I am going to write about next.
In March 2023 I was experiencing similar symptoms to what I had gone through in 2019 (see part 4 of My Testimony) when it was discovered I had a tumor in my right ovary. The big difference in 2023 was that I had been in menopause for approximately two years and should not have been bleeding at all. The bleeding was so severe, I almost bled to death as my skin turned gray and I became very dizzy.
In the ER they performed an ultrasound and released me with a diagnosis of an uneven lining in my uterus. It was not until I went online to see my medical report that I read, "highly suspect endometrial adenocarcinoma." I think we all know that means cancer. I was shocked and also angry that no one in the ER told me what had been discovered.
I had been referred to a gynecologist for the uneven lining, but by the time I finally got the appointment, I already knew part of what the report had stated. What I did not know was that I had two tumors in my abdomen, the other was on my remaining left ovary.
I remembered that when I had the first tumor in 2019 that the doctor told me she was sure it was not cancer and not to worry. Yet this doctor would only say, "Let's see what the biopsy says," and that he would not remove the endometrial tumor until the report from the ovarian tumor came back. Those were 2 huge red flags to me, and I was quite worried.
My husband had been dealing with his own medical issues of severe sciatic pain at the time and had not been able to come with me to the ER or the follow-up. Therefore, and I absolutely do not recommend doing so, I never told him there was a suspicion if cancer as I did not what to stress him out. I downplayed it all to spare him the trauma. Therefore, I went through all my own emotional struggles alone. Well, no, NEVER alone, God became my rock more than ever before.
On April 27, 2o23 I had the same surgery as in 2019, but now on the left side. Tumor, left ovary, and fallopian tube were all removed, as well as a sample taken from the second tumor.
It wasn't until I was in the recovery room after the surgery that my husband now knew that cancer was likely. The very excellent surgeon told my husband what was going on (not knowing Mel had not been in the loop at this point) by saying he was almost certain what he saw was cancer. I feel pretty bad now that my precious husband found out that way and not from me. I know he was in shock. I have since repented to both my husband and to God for having kept such an important secret and never will again.
Several days later I again discovered my diagnosis by reading it online. Confirmed before me in black and white what that I indeed had a cancerous tumor in my uterus. This time I told Mel. We cried, hugged, and most importantly, we prayed. I didn't know until I saw the oncologist that would perform the next surgery that the ovarian tumor was also cancerous as the on-line report had not mentioned it. I had two cancerous tumors at once? Yet another emotional knockout blow.
On June 7, 2023, I had a complete abdominal hysterectomy, lymph node dissection, and had my omentum removed (layer of tissue that covers abdominal organs). I spent 5 days in the hospital. I should have been there longer, but I was impatient to go home, so I talked them into releasing me earlier. Not a good idea, I should have stayed the full week to 10 days, as the pain was very intense and I refused to take any addictive narcotics once I was released from the hospital (even in the hospital I insisted on the mildest form of narcotic they could give). I was a very long recovery process both physically and mentally.
If you have ever read or been verbally given a cancer diagnosis, then you know how I felt. If not, I do not think I can really describe what that does to your emotions, and truly still does today as I still have nightmares about my cancer returning (even last night). Especially considering I lost my dear dad to cancer in 2022. Oh, how I wished he had been there to talk to during my struggles, but I praise God He is free and whole with Jesus now.
Just as I had in 2019 while I waited to see if my first tumor had been cancer or not, I had determined that no matter the outcome, God was in control, and he would take care of me and my husband. I had even more fear than I had before since I now knew this was indeed cancer and I was only waiting to know what stage it was and whether or I would have to endure chemotherapy. But overall, I was at peace.
I also praise God the tumors were diagnosed as synchronous ovarian and endometrial cancers, which means they were supposedly independent of each other, and both were considered to be stage 1. I should see this as a miracle that this rarity was my case, yet I do often worry this was a misdiagnosis as only 2 to 17% if multiple cancers are synchronous. Whenever I stress about this, I first realize I cannot exactly go backwards and insist on another test or that I now go through chemo, and then God reminds me to trust Him and just praise Him that I am currently doing okay. Whether I will ever have a recurrence or a secondary cancer only God knows, and I will continue to praise Him not matter what my future holds.
I also often wonder why me. But not why did I have cancer as I do not expect to be exempt from the pains of this life. No, I wonder why I was spared a higher stage of cancer. My dad suffered through chemo and horrible symptoms at the end of his life. Others I know have had chemo and/or radiation as well as many I do not know. So why was I spared? Giod asks me, "Why ask why?" Just praise Him and continue being a faithful servant to my Savior in good times and bad. So by God's grace, that is exactly what I will do.
Let me pause and take a deep breath. Okay, now moving forward past the cancer.
Back to the previous blog (part 5), where I wrote about my non-diagnosis of neurological symptoms. I have not improved and have pursed a second opinion from two different neurologists.
Since moving to Washington state in 2019, I have been seen by some wonderful providers that have been kind and genuinely cared about what I was going through. The best of the best were from the oncology staff working for Providence Cancer Systems. However, I have also faced the exact opposite side of the coin in dealing with some of the rudest and coldest medical personnel that have tested the Fruits of the Spirit in me, and, sorry to say, I did not always pass those tests. Counting the first doctor mentioned in part 5, the three neurologists I have seen, have been so outrageously cruel that it has only been by the power of the Holy Spirit that I have been able to forgive them. I will not waste your time or mine writing about how awful they were, only to say I still do not have any more answers to why I have lesions in my brain, or why I experience so many other symptoms that make day to day life difficult.
My primary care doctor, however, did order x-rays earlier this year and I was diagnosed by a radiologist as having severe spinal facet joint diseases and lumbar scoliosis. While I appreciate a partial diagnosis, they do not explain all of my symptoms. I have not seen any more specialists and instead I have been told by both the kind and not so kind doctors that they do not fully know what is wrong with me and/or there is nothing they can do to help me as no treatments will make a real difference.
(You can read a recent poem I wrote after another doctor told me there was no cure my condition here - it is the one titled "No Cure?" https://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2025/08/no-cure-why-write-poem-things-i-will.html
Frustrating? Yes! Discouraging? Absolutely! But will I lose my faith over it? Never! My struggles are physical, but not spiritual. Like Job, I will trust God no matter what. I know God is loving, kind, and good, and the medical issues I face are the results of a fallen world. Someday I will be made whole and free in Heaven, and all these struggles will be forgotten. As the song says, "But until then my heart will go on singing / Until then with joy let's carry on / Until the day my eyes behold that city / Until the day God calls me home." (Songwriter: Stuart Hamblen) (You can see my favorite singer, Vestal Goodman, singing that song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7KN6kqsPzE&list=RDR7KN6kqsPzE&start_radio=1 )
(2 Corinthians 12:9-10) And he said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
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