Proverbs 31:10: A Virtuous Spouse

 

Proverbs 31:10: A Virtuous Spouse

This writing is also from my marriage blog from week 43: "Victory and Virtuous" https://abcsofajoyfulmarriage.blogspot.com/2024/10/week-43-victory-virtuous.html .  This is an excerpt from that week:

(Proverbs 31:10) Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. 

This is my description of what I feel the concept of a virtuous spouse (not just a wife but a husband also) should be.  I am going to be literal, use the definitions from dictionary.com, and then expand from there.

1) Moral excellence; goodness; righteousness.  This is a good start.  Obviously, "no one is good but One, that is God," (Matthew 19:17), but we should strive for righteousness or living right.  To live a life set apart and holy (Romans 12:1-2 & II Corinthians 6:17).  I know I have said it before, but my number one goal in life is to please God and be a woman after His own heart, but my number two goal will always be to bring my husband honor by living a life that will never shame him.  I want to please Mel by being a wife that tries her best to live according to the laws of Jesus Christ.  A spouse of virtue strives to bring his/her partner honor by living a pure life.

2) Conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles; uprightness; rectitude.  There have been very few areas where I have needed to conform or change my point of view since I married Mel. This is because, as I mentioned before, we saw and still see life pretty much the exact same way and there has been little to adjust.  The most important thing I wanted in a husband was that our religious beliefs were the same.  I hate the term "religion," but we are identical in our spiritual thought patterns.  The truth is, we have both learned to adjust some of our thought patterns not to each other's ways, but to the ways of the Bible as together we have learned to find the perfect balance of holiness combined with God's grace. If necessary, and as long as He was Biblically sound, I would conform because I love him so deeply and trust him to look out for my best interests.  A virtuous woman trusts her husband as her head and conforms when necessary and a virtuous husband will be respectful also of her opinions and not be a bully.

3) Chastity; virginity: to lose one's virtue.  I was indeed a virgin on my wedding night.  Let me tell you how very happy I am that Mel is the only man to whom I gave myself.  It is such an intimate, bonding, beautiful experience.  I am beyond grateful Mel will be the only man with whom I will ever have such experiences.  So, if any non-marrieds read this, please stay pure until you marry.  No matter how old you are, it will be worth the wait.  If you have made mistakes, God forgives, and so will a loving husband, but please do not stay living in sin.  And for the marrieds: please save sex for only your spouse.  There is never any excuse to cheat.  Sex is sacred.  Marriage is sacred.  A spouse of virtue gives his/her body only to his/her mate.

4)  A particular moral excellence. I will say it again, no one is perfect, but the goal as a spouse of virtue is to strive to live a life of "moral excellence."  How do we excel at anything? Practice, study, learn, and grow.  In other words, read The Bible, know the laws of Jesus, and follow them.  Know the character of Christ and make it your goal to imitate it.  Avoid temptations and cling to your honey.  Have amazing communication with your spouse every single day.  Talk about every issue you can think of and know where you both stand on every issue.  Keep each other accountable.  God is your number one source, but use your spouse is your number two moral compass. Follow each other’s good examples and ask him/her to help you as well.  A virtuous spouse seeks out excellence in his/her marriage and in his/her walk with God.

5) A good or admirable quality or property: the virtue of knowing one's weaknesses.  I have so many weaknesses I cannot count them all.  Mel and I know that, though we are perfect for each other, we are not perfect people.  I am not going to be self-deprecating and list all my faults, but I know what work I need to do in my life.  I know where I need to change.  Most of us usually do, even when we do not want to admit it.  Above all, pray the prayer, "Change my heart oh, God, make it ever new," or "Create in me a clean heart, oh God and renew a right spirit within me."   Also, be ready for the honest discussions with your spouse and ask him/her to lovingly but honestly tell you where he/she thinks you need improvement.  Ask your partner to help you with areas you feel you need help.  Self-examination and a loving hand from your soul mate will help you become a more virtuous spouse.