Lessons on Compassion

 

Lessons on Compassion

It is ironic that I chose “School of Holiness” for my new blog name because God has been teaching me new lessons these past few weeks.  Well, actually not new lessons but old, as I have known for a long time that I should see people through His eyes, but I have been too stubborn to let God’s Truths sink in.   

As I mentioned in my last blog, I started a new job recently.  As everyone knows, it is always difficult being the new kid on the block.  The job itself is so easy a trained monkey could do it, but as far as this situation goes, the difficulty has been learning to adjust to challenging personalities.

Even though I am not mentioning where I work, I am still going to use fictional names for the people I refer to, so the names below listed are not the real names of my co-workers.

One of the people I started training with is Albert, a man who wears a large silver cross around his neck.  At first, we seemed to get along, but by the second day, he was rude and insulting.  I told my husband I did not like working with Albert, and was dreading my next shift with him.  The next time we worked together, however, was a relatively slower afternoon and we had time to chat.  I learned that he and his wife are co-youth pastors at their church and he is a part of the worship team.  They have four children and his wife Elsa works at (what I assume to be) a low-paying job just as he does.  Somehow, the topic of money came up, and he told me how he and his wife fantasize about being blessed with a lot of money so they can go door-to-door to help the poor and needy.  I told him Mel and I have the same desire.  It was then I was able to see that Albert has a heart of sharing God’s love.  Bottom line: I can have compassion for his financial needs having four children, and I can remember his goals to serve the Lord with his wife.  When I focus on the positive, I can ignore the negative.   

Last week I worked with a woman named Barbara for the first time.  She is bossy, critical, and overly fussy.  She is even smart-alecky with the customers and they often visually get very irritated with her. I nearly got into an argument with her because she was training me differently than Albert had, and I told her so.  She continued to gripe at me the rest of the shift to the point I would have walked off the job if I were not so desperate for the tiny paycheck.  Again, when I got home from work, I complained to my husband about how much I disliked my co-worker.  I even lost sleep as I stewed in my bitter juices all night over all the disrespectful ways she had treated me.  When I arrived at work Monday and saw I would be working for three hours with Barbara again, I was not happy.  She again started in on nagging me about a million little things. When I work with her, I have to continually pray for strength to reflect the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatian 5:22-23) and not give into ungodly behaviors.  Just as with Albert, the last part of our shift was slow, so Barbara and I had time to talk.  I learned she has severe asthma (as I do), but cannot afford her daily inhaler and has to go without.  I gave her the name of the woman at St. Luke’s Hospital that has helped me get my inhalers free (I use two different kinds).  I also found out that Barbara had broken her arm last winter and is still struggling to pay off a bill of $4,000.  She is the mother of six adult children and has a bunch of grandchildren.  She also wears a cross around her neck and talks of faith and praying for people’s souls.  By the way, Albert is her son-in-law, and her daughter Rebecca also works there.  I happen to like Rebecca and have a lot of fun working with her.  When I told Barbara how much I enjoy working with her daughter, she said it made her very happy to hear that.  Barbara may be overly nit-picky, but she is a mother and grandmother who loves her family, and who loves the Lord; that is where I need to shine my evaluating spotlight, on the heart, not the rough edges.  I remind myself that oftentimes people who are overly critical are very insecure and have an inferiority complex.  They feel more useful and worthy if they believe they know something you do not (even if this is a misperception).  I try to help her feel better about herself by showing her respect as my superior and thanking her for her suggestions.  Bottom line: I have found compassion for her medical needs vs. her financial situation, I can remember she is a loving wife, mother, and grandmother, and I can admire her for her faith and see her as a work in progress as we all are.

Now onto my boss, Charles.  When he interviewed me, he told me prefers to pay his employees minimum wage, but in order to compete with the other businesses in town, he feels he has to pay them $8.00 an hour.  Then he told me he would pay me a higher wage because of my experience and certification in food safety, but on my first day, he informs me he has changed his mind and will start me at the lowest wage.  I have had to watch at least six hours of training videos on my own time (which means I don’t get paid for mandatory training) and still have at least three more hours to go.  I have never heard of a restaurant making their workers pay for their meals, and yet he charges a fee for all we eat, and is considering raising the prices of what he currently charges.  He uses the employee tips to buy our uniforms, and when he actually lets his employees have the tips, it is only every three to four months of what he has not used for other expenses and so-called bonuses (it is not really a bonus if it came out of our tips).  I told him I wanted 20-30 hours a week, and yet I only get 10-12.  In fact, all he really needs is a full-time staff of 6-8 to keep the restaurant running, but he has 10 people working minimal hours.  His home computer is linked to the store’s cameras where he sits at home and watches us.  If we are slow, he will call in and tell someone to go home.  I have even already been told not to come in when it was a slower day.  Not working means no pay and he seems to forget that one hour may be slow, while the next may be overly busy (which happens a lot there).  In other words, one person may end up over-burdened when forced to work alone.  It would seem as if Charles cares more about money than his staff’s financial needs.  However, after just six days of working, my back was in such severe pain I resigned (I have degenerative disc disease).  Yet a few days later, he called me and said he was disappointed that I had quit because I was doing such a good job, and he was willing to work out a schedule where I would not have to work two days in a row (at least for now).  Although I do not enjoy the job and the small wages are not really worth the pain, I agreed to return to work (at least for now).  On another positive note, five of his staff (the other three are teenagers and two of us are new) have all been working for him anywhere from 5-12 years.  They say he is a wonderful and fair boss and they would never work anywhere else.  Charles is a husband and a father of three. He and his wife adopted a little girl from China that had a cleft palate and needed two surgeries (it was quicker for them to adopt after they said they would be willing to take a child with medical needs).  They homeschool their children, and are active members in their church (he plays Christian music in the restaurant), and has a reputation around town as a kind-hearted man.  I have been told that all his children are good kids.  Bottom line: I need to quit seeing Charles as a stingy boss and realize his family has needs too.  I still believe he could give his workers one free meal per shift, pay for watching training videos, and let us have all our tip money (If there are any bosses reading this, keep in mind: Luke 10:7 says, “a worker deserves his wages,”  & Deuteronomy 24:15 says, “Pay him his wages… because he is poor and counting on it.  Otherwise he may cry to the Lord against you and you will be guilty of sin.”), but I also realize he is a businessman with a family who’s needs should come first (just as I put my hubby’s needs above everyone else).  I can also recognize that by playing Christian music in his business he is saying he is not ashamed of his faith, which is a good thing.  And, it’s not often a boss inspires so much loyalty that their workers encourage their family members to work for him and stay for many years.  

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.”
To top it off, if I continue on to verse 9, it reminds me that verse 8 is meant to be studied and put into practice, for it says, “The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”

Thank you, Jesus for allowing me to be a student in Your School of Holiness and teaching me again to (as the old song says) “look beyond the fault and see the need.” Afterall, I know I’m certainly not perfect.  I pray I have finally learned the lessons on compassion and will be less critical and more understanding from now on!