Daddy’s Girls (2022)
Two little girls,
One redhead one blonde,
Enticing Daddy to play,
“Come on, Daddy, come on!”
Daddy prepared sermons, and worked a second job,
But when the work was done,
There were Daddy-Daughter days,
With roast beef and ice cream cones.
We made believe we were robots,
Where pretzels became energy cells,
We sang silly bedtime songs,
And Daddy prayed all was well.
As the little girls grew up,
As all of us must do,
We began to go our own ways,
And times with Daddy were few.
Yet Daddy was still our support,
And encouraged us as we dreamed,
He would cheer every achievement,
And tell us defeat was not as bad as it seemed.
Then came college,
And marriage for the elder,
As he walked her down the aisle,
Daddy released her to another man’s shelter.
A family became divided,
And hearts were shattered,
But we all continued to love,
And forgave when it mattered.
Father became friend as the younger remained single,
Their bond was ever so strong,
As they shared life’s ups and downs,
Until it was time for both to move on.
A husband for the daughter,
God’s gift of joy from above,
A new wife and new location for Daddy,
They were separated but both happy with new love.
Through the distance his daughters kept in touch,
But Daddy’s health was in danger,
First a heart attack with many complications,
Many surgeries, and even cancer.
Prayers upon prayers,
Tears upon tears,
His daughters worried for Daddy
Afraid for the worst in a sea of fears.
Daddy fought like a warrior,
But his enemy was stronger,
For reasons unknown,
Daddy could stay here no longer.
They cried and screamed,
They ached beyond measure in their pain,
But they could rejoice Daddy was at peace in Heaven,
Knowing they would someday see him again.
Two grown women,
One redhead, the other blonde,
Saying, "Daddy, we will miss you,
But in our hearts, you are never gone."
Thankful for his legacy of faith,
Teaching them the Truths of Old,
Knowing God is in control,
Someday they will join him on the Streets of Gold.
(Revelation 21:4-5 & 21) And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And he that sat upon the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And the twelve gates were twelve pearls: every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass.
This poem is based on true events. I had indeed had a dream about my dad leaving in the middle of a conversation, and I was racing after him, begging him to stay longer. Four years later, and I still have similar dreams from time to time. But the truth is, I would not have him back for anything. My daddy is in perfect peace and health in Heaven, and much, much happier there!
It is also true that my dad's widow told me that my dad's last word right before he passed to Heaven was, "Hallelujah!" The last week or so of his life his cancer had spread to his brain, he had gone blind, and he was not speaking. However, his wife still played worship music for him and right in the middle of one of the songs (I don't know which one), he suddenly called out, "Hallelujah!" and was gone to glory shortly after.
As the late singer Howard Goodman once said (this is paraphrasing), it is very difficult to say good-bye to those we love, however, don't think of them as being in our past, but in our future because we will see them again. Hallelujah indeed!
Hallelujah! (2022)
I had another dream,
Where we were having a casual chat,
So much like we used to do,
When you suddenly announced you must go,
You could not stay any longer;
As you swiftly began your exit,
I raced after you trying to keep up,
Pleading, “Don’t go yet, Dad,
There’s so much more I want to say!”
But you did not reply,
And you were gone.
I awoke enveloped in a heavy cloak of sadness,
Missing you with such an ache;
Hopes and fears in my heart I want to share,
Yet these conversations we will never have;
In spite of my grief,
I could not cry,
Instead, I began to pray.
So many words came back to me then,
Our last conversation
When you could scarcely speak,
And I said, “It’s okay, Daddy,
Just know I love you very much.”
I remembered how often you told me you loved me,
And how much you loved my husband,
And you prayed for us daily.
I remembered that your wife shared with me
Your very last word,
When you were surrounded by those you loved,
She played praise music for you;
Although you had not spoken for a while,
Before you left, you clearly said,
“Hallelujah!"
Just one word,
One word that soothes my soul;
One word to let me know
You were ready to go;
One word to give me peace;
You are in perfection now,
Walking down streets of gold,
Embraced in pure love from God;
One word to bring comfort,
Reminding me I will see you again.
Though I still have much more to say,
I must let you rush ahead,
To a place where you are safe and free,
In the holy presence of Jesus,
Where your pain is gone,
And you can rest and find joy;
Hallelujah, indeed!
No Cure? (2025)
Perhaps not the worst words one can hear,
But certainly ones that elicit fear,
“There is no cure for you,
Treatments won’t help much,
And you will only get worse.”
Panic.
Hopelessness.
Self-pity.
Tears.
As I lay on the floor,
In too much pain to move,
And too distressed to breathe,
My heart cries for a song,
More than my broken body needs,
My soul craves healing.
I let the music play,
Surrounded by songs I love,
Resounding in a not-so-random order,
As if God planned this play list just for me,
To remind me of all that Jesus is.
Pain taker.
Mountain mover.
Path straightener.
Joy giver.
The songs continue to bless me,
To strengthen me,
To remember that some mountains are necessary,
And that God is always with me;
May I never forget I am a child of the King!
No cure for this mortal body,
But Jesus is the remedy for my immortal soul,
His blood has healed my sin-sick spirit,
His medicine I want to take daily,
To stay clean, joyful, and whole.
Peaceful.
Forgiven.
Loved.
Royalty.
His love has cured my despair,
His mercy has inspired my actions,
I desire only to live for Him,
And though I may be crooked in body,
I can forever soar in my soul!
(Psalm 45:1 AMP) My heart overflows with a good theme; I address my psalm to the King. My tongue is like the pen of a skillful writer.
Why write a poem? (2025)
Certain things are too difficult to pen,
So why write a poem?
Why open a wound I try so hard to keep sealed?
Because scotch tape does not cure a broken heart;
After a while it loosens
And the pain seeps back out.
So why write a poem?
Will it create a permanent healing?
Will it change the past?
Can it bring back those lost,
Or fill an empty womb?
No, poetry is not a cure,
It is a process to increase my faith,
Writing words I cannot say aloud
Is a way to express,
A way to cry,
A way to scream
Without uttering a sound.
It is a way to say to God,
“I don’t understand,
But I love You anyway.”
He knows what my heart says
In between the beats,
So why write a poem?
Because God wants to hear me,
Even when I cannot fully verbalize my heart,
He knows the way I process emotion,
He knows paper and ink are the path to closure,
He knows how to heal what I cannot.
Therefore, I will praise,
I will trust,
I will tell God I love Him,
I will see beyond this life,
I will find joy and peace,
And I will write a poem.
(Psalm 56:8) Thou tellest my misery: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?
It is also true that my dad's widow told me that my dad's last word right before he passed to Heaven was, "Hallelujah!" The last week or so of his life his cancer had spread to his brain, he had gone blind, and he was not speaking. However, his wife still played worship music for him and right in the middle of one of the songs (I don't know which one), he suddenly called out, "Hallelujah!" and was gone to glory shortly after.
As the late singer Howard Goodman once said (this is paraphrasing), it is very difficult to say good-bye to those we love, however, don't think of them as being in our past, but in our future because we will see them again. Hallelujah indeed!
Hallelujah! (2022)
I had another dream,
Where we were having a casual chat,
So much like we used to do,
When you suddenly announced you must go,
You could not stay any longer;
As you swiftly began your exit,
I raced after you trying to keep up,
Pleading, “Don’t go yet, Dad,
There’s so much more I want to say!”
But you did not reply,
And you were gone.
I awoke enveloped in a heavy cloak of sadness,
Missing you with such an ache;
Hopes and fears in my heart I want to share,
Yet these conversations we will never have;
In spite of my grief,
I could not cry,
Instead, I began to pray.
So many words came back to me then,
Our last conversation
When you could scarcely speak,
And I said, “It’s okay, Daddy,
Just know I love you very much.”
I remembered how often you told me you loved me,
And how much you loved my husband,
And you prayed for us daily.
I remembered that your wife shared with me
Your very last word,
When you were surrounded by those you loved,
She played praise music for you;
Although you had not spoken for a while,
Before you left, you clearly said,
“Hallelujah!"
Just one word,
One word that soothes my soul;
One word to let me know
You were ready to go;
One word to give me peace;
You are in perfection now,
Walking down streets of gold,
Embraced in pure love from God;
One word to bring comfort,
Reminding me I will see you again.
Though I still have much more to say,
I must let you rush ahead,
To a place where you are safe and free,
In the holy presence of Jesus,
Where your pain is gone,
And you can rest and find joy;
Hallelujah, indeed!
(1 John 1:3) Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God.
This poem is based off a real experience of feeling devastated after my doctor told me the pain and weakness in my body will never improve and will probably only get worse. He was very blunt in telling me treatments would not help and the best I could hope for was to try to manage my symptoms as best as possible. You can see my reaction by reading the poem.
What is also true is that I had requested my Echo speaker to play music by The Gaither Vocal Band right before the doctor had called me. I had walked out of the room to take the call (I often request phone appointments to receive medical results, so I don't have to waste gas going back to the doctor's office), and when I went back into the bedroom, the music was still playing. It had already been a physically difficult day, and now my head was reeling after the conversation. I was trying to simply change my sheets, but my body was rebelling, so I literally laid on the floor crying as pain was making it difficult to move. The songs sung by one of my favorite bands truly washed over me in such a wave of God's comfort and love that by the fourth or fifth song, I was feeling emotionally, mentally, and spiritually strong in the power of Jesus!
Yes, the Word of God should be our number one source of Biblical encouragement, but God also truly uses Godly men and women to write, sing, and play instruments that can minister to a hurting soul. I am very grateful for such writers and musicians!
No Cure? (2025)
Perhaps not the worst words one can hear,
But certainly ones that elicit fear,
“There is no cure for you,
Treatments won’t help much,
And you will only get worse.”
Panic.
Hopelessness.
Self-pity.
Tears.
As I lay on the floor,
In too much pain to move,
And too distressed to breathe,
My heart cries for a song,
More than my broken body needs,
My soul craves healing.
I let the music play,
Surrounded by songs I love,
Resounding in a not-so-random order,
As if God planned this play list just for me,
To remind me of all that Jesus is.
Pain taker.
Mountain mover.
Path straightener.
Joy giver.
The songs continue to bless me,
To strengthen me,
To remember that some mountains are necessary,
And that God is always with me;
May I never forget I am a child of the King!
No cure for this mortal body,
But Jesus is the remedy for my immortal soul,
His blood has healed my sin-sick spirit,
His medicine I want to take daily,
To stay clean, joyful, and whole.
Peaceful.
Forgiven.
Loved.
Royalty.
His love has cured my despair,
His mercy has inspired my actions,
I desire only to live for Him,
And though I may be crooked in body,
I can forever soar in my soul!
(Psalm 45:1 AMP) My heart overflows with a good theme; I address my psalm to the King. My tongue is like the pen of a skillful writer.
Why write a poem? (2025)
Certain things are too difficult to pen,
So why write a poem?
Why open a wound I try so hard to keep sealed?
Because scotch tape does not cure a broken heart;
After a while it loosens
And the pain seeps back out.
So why write a poem?
Will it create a permanent healing?
Will it change the past?
Can it bring back those lost,
Or fill an empty womb?
No, poetry is not a cure,
It is a process to increase my faith,
Writing words I cannot say aloud
Is a way to express,
A way to cry,
A way to scream
Without uttering a sound.
It is a way to say to God,
“I don’t understand,
But I love You anyway.”
He knows what my heart says
In between the beats,
So why write a poem?
Because God wants to hear me,
Even when I cannot fully verbalize my heart,
He knows the way I process emotion,
He knows paper and ink are the path to closure,
He knows how to heal what I cannot.
Therefore, I will praise,
I will trust,
I will tell God I love Him,
I will see beyond this life,
I will find joy and peace,
And I will write a poem.
(Psalm 56:8) Thou tellest my misery: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?
This last poem is so very personal I almost didn't share it. The pain of never having children is something I have struggled with and know many of you can relate. I very clearly felt God tell me about a year ago that I needed to grieve this loss if I was ever to heal from it. Since God is never wrong, I knew He was right, but I wasn't really sure how or if I wanted to deal with this grief. Finally, a few months ago, I wrote this poem. If you struggle with this same pain, know you are not alone. I understand and God will hold you when you cry.
Things I Will Never Know (2025)
I will never know
The joy of a positive pregnancy test,
Never experience morning sickness,
Never thrill at a baby’s kick inside my belly;
WIll not keep track of the weeks and months
Until my baby is born.
I will never know
What is is like to feel that newborn in my arms,
And weep with joy as I become a mother
What it is like to see a tiny face
That is a beautiful blend of my husband and me,
To see dimples so like his father’s,
Or eyes just like mine;
To call him the name lovingly chosen.
I will never know
What is is like to hold that little boy in my lap,
Reading him bedtime stories,
Praying with him and teaching him
All about God’s love;
Will not hear him call me Mommy,
Or Mel called Daddy.
I will never know
How it feels to watch him grow,
To hear him giggle in delight,
As we take silly family selfies;
Will never see my child snuggle with a fluffy pet,
Or watch him grow up so fast I want time to slow down;
Will never see him delight in the love of God,
As he becomes more like Jesus every day.
No, this barren body will never carry a baby,
These empty arms will never snuggle with my child.
Yet I will always know
What it feels like to bask in the love of God,
To have my Heavenly Father hold me close,
To not know why He chose this path for me,
But to know Jesus calls me His own,
To feel His nail-scarred hands wipe away my tears,
To know He fills my empty heart,
And to know that His love will always be enough for me.
Things I Will Never Know (2025)
I will never know
The joy of a positive pregnancy test,
Never experience morning sickness,
Never thrill at a baby’s kick inside my belly;
WIll not keep track of the weeks and months
Until my baby is born.
I will never know
What is is like to feel that newborn in my arms,
And weep with joy as I become a mother
What it is like to see a tiny face
That is a beautiful blend of my husband and me,
To see dimples so like his father’s,
Or eyes just like mine;
To call him the name lovingly chosen.
I will never know
What is is like to hold that little boy in my lap,
Reading him bedtime stories,
Praying with him and teaching him
All about God’s love;
Will not hear him call me Mommy,
Or Mel called Daddy.
I will never know
How it feels to watch him grow,
To hear him giggle in delight,
As we take silly family selfies;
Will never see my child snuggle with a fluffy pet,
Or watch him grow up so fast I want time to slow down;
Will never see him delight in the love of God,
As he becomes more like Jesus every day.
No, this barren body will never carry a baby,
These empty arms will never snuggle with my child.
Yet I will always know
What it feels like to bask in the love of God,
To have my Heavenly Father hold me close,
To not know why He chose this path for me,
But to know Jesus calls me His own,
To feel His nail-scarred hands wipe away my tears,
To know He fills my empty heart,
And to know that His love will always be enough for me.
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