My Testimony, Part 5: 2020-2022

My Testimony, Part 5: 2020-2022

The obvious thing to point out here is that as long as I draw breath, there will always be more to add to my story.  I figured maybe every 10 years or so but did not expect to have so much to update in half that time. So much so in just 5 years that it will have to be split into 2 more parts (one more post after this one).

Let me pick up where I left off.  At that time, while working for a kind woman who ran a cat boarding facility I began was experiencing some troubling symptoms causing weakness in my body.  I had my first MRI where brain lesions had been discovered and was scheduled to have more MRIs.

Without going through my medical records, I cannot tell you the exact dates of all 6 MRIs I experienced between 2019-2022.  What I can tell you is that, if you have never experienced one, pray you never have to.  This is how I describe a character in one of my novels feels as she is going through an MRI: "The supposed noise-canceling headphones playing her choice of worship music did nothing to drown out the clangs, clicks, bangs, thumps, thunders, and smashing sounds surrounding her as if she was inside a never-ending plane crash."  And by the time it is over, I am dizzy, shaking, and have a pounding headache.

On top of the MRIs, I have also had countless CT scans, X-rays, more bloodwork done than I can recall, and two electromyography's. The Mayo Clinic describe an electromyography as "a diagnostic procedure to assess the health of muscles and the nerve cells that control them (motor neurons) ... a needle electrode inserted directly into a muscle records the electrical activity in that muscle."  I describe it as a horrible test where you feel as if you are being simultaneously stabbed and electrocuted. And, yes, I had had to endure it twice! You would think all those tests in 3 years I would have a clear-cut picture of what is wrong with me.  A diagnosis in black and white.  A treatment plan and medications to help me improve.  If that's what you think, you would be wrong. 

The initial neurologist I saw in 2019 that I mentioned in part 4 that declared I have a "demyelination disorder that very well may be Multiple Sclerosis" later backtracked and changed his diagnosis.  I have absolutely no idea why.  All I know is that when I saw him last in February of 2022, he suddenly declared that he could not figure out what was wrong with me and therefore could not help me; he released me from his care.  I will not say he had failed when he tried helping me at first.  Yet, after all the above-mentioned tests, he was still not convinced my disorder was MS.  In January 2022, he finally ordered a lumbar puncture to help him make up his mind once and for all.  

Not sure which is worse, a head-splitting MRI, an electric shock test, or having a needle jammed into your spine during a lumbar puncture (spinal tap).  I was not supposed to feel any needle except the one they used to numb my spine.  However, I felt every single time the 4-inch needle stabbed me in the back.  I am not certain how many times I was jabbed, only that it was extremely painful and I was trying very hard not to let the staff know I felt it because I wanted this test done once and for all.  I needed proof that I had MS!  However, on top of feeling the painful stabs, my legs both began to jerk, and my left arm began to tremor. The procedure was terminated because the doctor was afraid he would cause me harm.  No spinal fluid was collected, and therefore, no diagnosis would be possible.  

Not only did I experience a lot of pain before and after the failed procedure, I also had a lot of confusion.  Not just from me but from the neurologist, the doctor who performed the lumbar puncture, and even the nurses at the procedure. Apparently, what happened was extremely rare, and no one seemed to know what to do next.  It was after this that the neurologist washed his hands of me and said he no longer wanted me as a patient. 

My hopes of finally having answers to my worsening condition were dashed, and worse yet, I was forced to quit the job I so loved because my body was so severely rebelling against me, I could no longer be on my feet for more than 30 minutes at the most. 

Yet even much worse than the physical pain and weakness and saying goodbye to a boss and cats I loved to work with, I lost one of my dearest friends in this world.  The only one I loved more than that person was my husband.  On January 23, 2022, my precious dad, Otto, lost his very brutal battle with multiple myeloma (blood cancer) and went home to be with Jesus.  We were very close, and I miss him so much still today.

You can read the 2 poems I wrote after his death here: https://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2025/05/daddys-girls-hallelujah-poems.html

Hopes for treatment for an unnamed condition, loss of a beloved job, and severely grieving my father all in the same month.  But my dad gave me a great gift.   

Neither of my parents were perfect by any means, but I grew up with a strong foundation of faith. Thanks to my dad's great example of spiritual leadership, I was able to build on my spiritual knowledge and learn on my own all the Bible says. I thank God my dad taught me to have a personal walk with Jesus and not just rely on my what my parents taught me.

Also, they say women marry men similar to their fathers (and men marry women similar to their mothers) because, for good or bad, it is a personality they are comfortable with. I praise God I had a healthy relationship with my dad because it was the foundation for choosing a Godly husband who also challenges me spiritually as we grow in the knowledge of God together.     

In spite of all the physical and mental challenges during the years, I have managed to keep my faith in God strong.

But my battles were not over.

(Romans 5:1-5) Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.