Learning to Stay Within God's Will

  

I originally wrote this in 2018, but the lesson of consequences of going outside God's will always stay with me!

One of the biggest lessons God has been teaching me may be the hardest for me to swallow because it includes a huge slice of humble pie.  In order for me to share this lesson with you, I have to admit that I have been a stubborn, willful, untrusting child of God. 

In order for me to make this story a complete picture, I must go back to May 2017.  I had applied to a job at fast food place and had been called for an interview.  Because I had previously worked at the local school and was food safety certified, the boss was very interested in hiring me but wanted a face-to-face interview to be certain.  The night before the interview, I prayed that if the job was not within God’s will that either I or someone else would be sick and the interview would be cancelled.  I was sick all night with extreme nausea and stomach pain.  But was this just psychological because of what I had prayed?  Maybe, but what was not a coincidence was that the boss called me half an hour before the interview to say his wife was ill and he would have to cancel and reschedule the interview.  I saw this is a definite sign and chose not to reschedule.  I was not certain why God had chosen to block me from the seemingly harmless job, but I could not pray a prayer asking for a specific sign and then ignore it when God answered.

Now, fast forward to January this year (2018).  Feeling weary of being broke and struggling to pay bills, I began believing God was not interested in our lives.  Yes, I love God and He loves me, but does He really care about every detail?  One day, when driving back from an errand, I noticed a sign on the door of the same fast-food place I had applied to the previous year.   I asked Mel to pull into the parking lot to see if it was another “Help Wanted” sign.  Yes, it was.  In spite of God blocking me from the same job eight months prior, I filled out another application.  I remembered how enthusiastic the boss had seemed at my prior kitchen experience and knew I would be called for another interview.  Sure enough, he quickly called me again, and even remembered that he had called me in 2017.  This time, I did not pray for God’s will to be done.  I decided that if God really cared about me, He would understand the need for more money.  I was hired on the spot.

I trained on days for my first four shifts but was moved to nights my second week (I only worked three days a week).  Night shift is responsible for the majority of the cleaning, which includes all the dishes.  Well, my first time being exposed to the sanitizer, I began coughing and I could feel my chest tighten.  Next thing I knew, my asthma attacks began increasing.  Up until then, the asthma had been controlled with a daily inhaler and I only needed my rescue inhaler 7-10 times a month.  I had been using my rescue inhaler 3-6 times a day!  Last time my asthma was this bad the doctor said it could cause me to go into respiratory failure and/or end my life, which is why I now take the daily inhaler (Note: again, this was written in 2018, I no longer need a daily inhaler. Praise God!!)  Less than two weeks into the increased asthma attacks, I had developed bronchitis, a as bloody nose, double ear infections, and a throat infection.  It is obvious I was allergic to the sanitizer as I had also been itching and had a mild rash.  I tried my best to stay at the job, hoping the antibiotics would make me better, but they did not.  I spent every day for at least a month with increased asthma attacks as well as feeling generally very sick (I won’t go into it all).  In spite of the need for money, I finally decided I had enough of feeling so horrible every day.  Also, remembering the doctor’s previous warning about increased risk of lung failure, my sweet hubby was very worried about my health, so I resigned.

So, why am I telling you all this?  To remind not only myself, but my readers as well, that when we go outside of God’s will, we cannot expect to be protected.  Remember that God had answered my prayer in 2017 and showed me the job was outside of His will.  In His foreknowledge, He knew my weak lungs would not be able to handle the chemicals used, and that it would literally place my life at risk.  Yet in my stubborn pride and refusal to believe that God cared about my needs, I rebelliously took the job God clearly had blocked me from in the past. 

We cannot jump off a cliff and then demand that God must save us.  When we do something we know is against His will or against the laws of Jesus Christ, we cannot expect divine protection.  It is not God’s fault I was sick and suffering, it was my own because I disobeyed His will.  I spent time in serious repentance for arrogantly believing God really did not care about my life and that He really did not care if I took that job or not.

I have learned my lesson.  I will always pray over every application or résumé I drop off (as I have done since 2018).  If God shows me any job is the wrong fit, I will immediately back off and move on.  In fact, I am going to do my best to better adopt this attitude for everyday life experiences much better than I have ever done before.  Whether it is looking for a new job, writing a blog or book, looking for a new place to live, or even what book to read, I am going to do a better job of listening to God’s Voice and following His signs.

From now on, whenever I am so arrogant to believe my will is better than the Almighty’s will, I going to focus more on Isaiah 55:7-9, especially the last two verses: 

Seek the Lord while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, And the unrighteous man his thoughts; Let him return to the Lord, And He will have mercy on him; And to our God, For He will abundantly pardon. "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts. 

I will no longer fight God’s plans for my life, nor disbelieve His love for me.  I am also going to strive to better believe in Romans 8:24-28:

For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.  

There is so much beauty in those verses how can I not see how much God cares about my life?  The Holy Spirit intercedes for us to try to keep us within the will of God.  When we love God and are called for His purpose (not our own), God will work things out for our good.  I have heard verse 28 my entire life, so how could I still be so thick-headed that I still have the nerve to purposefully stray outside God’s will?

Another favorite Truth to remember is found in Jeremiah 29:11-14:

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord.

God only wants His best for His children.  When we seek Him, we will find Him.  If I had prayed again before my second interview, I am certain God would have again blocked the job because He does not want “evil” for my life.  Excessive asthma attacks are not part of God’s will! 

Although bad things typically happen to us when we refuse to stay within God’s will, I want to make it clear that not all bad things are our fault as we live in a fallen world where man’s rebellion causes the innocent to suffer.  So do NOT believe that every time you are sick (or something else bad occurs) that God is punishing you.  It was clear the added asthma attacks had been because I had rebelled but having asthma in general is not a punishment.  However, with that said, I am still going to do better to let this lesson permeate my life and control my actions from now on!