After reading what I had previously written for my testimony in 2014, I realized how much has changed since then. To begin with, I have changed and matured spiritually. Let me go back 4 years, 4 months.
Sorry for the not-so-good artwork from my journaling Bible, but I like the unprofessional interpretation of my favorite verse better than the fancy memes out there. I'm not saying that to be arrogant, but simply because it is my perception of what that verse means. I have relied on that verse quite a bit since October 1, 2014. That was the day we lost our home to foreclosure. People judge one who has lost a home, but until you have been through it, consider exchanging your criticisms for compassion. It is one of the reasons I now have so much compassion for the homeless; losing a house can happen to anyone of us. I will not go into why we lost our home, but it was the worst time in my life. Not because I lost a house, but because I lost 4 of my precious dogs. I had to find them all new homes separated from us and from each other. That hurt me worse than anything ever has. I went through a period of about 6 months where I was so angry with God that I could not even pray. When I began releasing my bitterness and letting the Lord's gentle love warm my heart again, I started merely saying, "Thank You," to Him for even the small things until I was able to slowly revive my relationship with the Lord.
Although I no longer blame the Lord for the bad things that happen in life, the loss of those dear dogs still hurts me today. I will never understand why this happened, so you can see why I rely so heavily on I Corinthians 13:12. I am thankful, however, that we were able to keep the 9 cats we had and never spent one day homeless. Through miraculous circumstances, we were able to get into a rental 3 days before we were due to be homeless. And I truly mean "miraculous." We found a rental 2 hours north from where we had lived. God led us to a house we did not even know was available until we were desperately looking at a hotel in the area we thought we would have to move into. We just happened to decide to go to the lake while in Cascade, and drove by a house with a rental sign outside and called the number out of mere desperation. We did not think we could afford any rent or a huge deposit (with 9 cats, you can understand why it almost $1,000) with our small budget. This is another long story I won't go into, but God opened the door to that house where we rented until April of last year. Throughout our time in Cascade, we continually had people ask how we managed to obtain a rental home in an area where rentals were nearly impossible to find. The answer was always easy, "God made a way." Even non-believers agreed it was a miracle.
The majority of our time in Cascade was uneventful. Jobs were just as hard to come by in the town of less than 1,000 people as homes, but in September 2015 I finally got a job working in the cafeteria at the local school. This was also the same month the Lord began dealing with my husband on the issue of television. God lovingly helped us both to see that Christians should not allow themselves to be exposed to such filth if they truly want to live lives pleasing and acceptable unto the Lord (see I Corinthians 6:14-7:1, Romans 12:1-2, & I Peter 1:15-17). Without much thought to clinging to the world, we got rid of our television shortly after I began my job as a kitchen assistant. (If you have any question in whether or not television is acceptable for a Christian, please listen to this very powerful message by David Wilkerson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4Fn0yMSwQc&t=11s .)
Giving up all television and movies was one of the best moves I have ever made in my spiritual walk. Do I still struggle with wanting to see the latest Star Trek or super hero movie? Sure, but I love purity and the things of the Lord far, far more than the filthy things of the world!
In January 2016 I was walking on the sidewalk outside work and took a flight through the air on the ice and landed flat on my rear end. Remember the car accident I mentioned in 1995? Well, two back injuries piled on top of one another, even 21 years apart, was very bad news. A month after the fall on the ice, my back became so painful that I could no longer handle a job on my feet, and was forced to resign. Again, I relied on I Corinthians 13:12. I do not believe God made me fall on the ice, Jeremiah 29:11 says that God does not intend bad things for me, but I do believe He was (and still is) in control of that injury.
Other than a few short job stints here and there, I did not work much while we lived in Cascade, but I do not want to get into my job history during that time as it is not really important. Until November 2018, life in Cascade was pretty uneventful. Then, right before Thanksgiving of that year, I was having such serious abdominal pain and such heavy menstrual bleeding I asked Mel to take me to the emergency room. The doctor ordered a CT scan and it was discovered I had a golf ball-sized tumor on my right ovary. Until January 25, 2019, I lived in fear of ovarian cancer. I knew, however, that no matter the outcome, God was in control and he would take care of me and my husband. I had some fear, yes, but overall, I was at peace. Around a week after having the tumor, right ovary and fallopian tube removed, I learned I did not have cancer. Praise God!
Let me go backward a little bit now. Mel and I have felt a calling to move to the coast of either Oregon or Washington since about 2013 (about a year after we were married). In September 2018, we used the money I made working for Idaho Parks and Recreation (a wonderful job, by the way), and applied for a home loan so we could pursue our dream and follow God's calling. On April 15, 2019, God blessed us with our current home, roughly 30 minutes from the Pacific Ocean! We fully believe that God has brought us here for the next phase in our ministry. Currently our dream is to start a small holiness church or bible study group. Oh, and God restored part of our canine family in the form of a 6 year-old dog we adopted from a shelter!
Our future looks brighter all the time, but I have one more dramatic scene to add to this current chapter of my testimony. Again, I will not go into all the details, but I have been struggling with symptoms of an unknown illness since at least spring 2016. I did not link all my symptoms together until around December 2019. The bottom line is that I have been diagnosed with a demyelination disorder that very well may be multiple sclerosis (I struggle with my hands even now as I type this.). I have an MRI scheduled in 2 weeks to get further answers. Just as when I was facing a possible ovarian cancer diagnosis, I know that whatever the outcome, God is in control, and I will be okay. Not only do I have my wonderful Heavenly Father by my side, but God has also blessed me with an amazingly supportive and loving husband. Thank you God, for the gift of Mel!
One more thing to add: when I saw the neurologist, he recognized the name of my current boss because her daughter also happens to have MS. She has undergone treatment that seems to be tremendously helping her. The doctor said something like this to Mel and me, "If you do happened to have MS, I will believe in a Higher Power and that He brought you and your boss' daughter together for a reason." Can I get a big, "Amen" on that? I fully agree. In fact, if my suffering brings God glory when an unsaved neurologist acknowledges God's goodness, and to any other nonbelievers, it is all worth it! Again, you can see why I Corinthians 13:12 is my favorite scripture verse.
No comments:
Post a Comment