Christian Marriage Principles, Written by Mel

Mel wrote this for his blog, "Sword of the Spirit Teachings" http://swordofthespirit77.blogspot.com/ and is letting me share it for my blog!

 

Christian Marriage Principles, Written by Mel

 Satan’s desire is to destroy the Christian family in order to ruin our testimony, as well as render us useless for God’s work. That is why it is important for our marriages to be grounded in Christ, for if Christ is the foundation, then when the storms of life come, our marriages will remain strong and unshakable. It is also important to remain clothed with the armor of Christ to be able to stand against the evil one in these dark times. Our society is trying to redefine marriage by legalizing gay marriage, but God is the author of the marriage covenant and he has determined that it is between a man and a woman. It is sad that in our public schools today, gay marriage is being endorsed, as well as encouraged, I believe that this is a sure sign of the end of the age.

Choosing the spouse that we will spend our life with is the most important decision that we will ever make, only our relationship with the Lord is of more importance. That is why we should seek the Lord with fasting and prayer concerning whom we choose. It is also very important to thoroughly get to know the person before making that lifetime commitment. I have known young people who were in such a hurry to get married that they hardly knew their spouse and then suffered the consequences. It is a good idea for most people to get pre-marriage counseling from their Pastor or another Christian counselor before walking down that aisle. Spiritual, as well as emotional maturity is very important to a stable marriage. Women want a man to be confident, strong, as well as be a spiritual and physical leader, and men want a woman to be nurturing, loving, supportive, and Christ centered.

A Christian should be loyal to their spouse in every way and should never flirt with the opposite sex. I have witnessed many married people flirt with others in the workplace and it is very disturbing. Many of these people were professing Christians and one was even a pastor in his fifties. We live in a very promiscuous society where people are bound by lust, and believe that there is grace for everything. Many believe that it is okay for a married person to have friends of the opposite sex but this is seldom innocent. I have witnessed these friendships between professing Christians of the opposite sex and it always led to an emotional bonding, and the men always developed feelings for the woman. Your spouse is the person that you should be emotionally bonded to, not Joe or Sally in the workplace. Fraternization is the first step toward adultery.

Our so-called progressive society has blurred the roles of men and women. A man is called by God to be the leader of the family and his wife is called to be submissive to him, but our society calls these old fashioned values archaic. I don’t believe that a husband should be abusive or a dictator to his wife, but should love her as his own body and be willing to give his life for her, Ephesians 5:22-25.  A spouse should put the needs of their mate before their own, as well as be tender hearted towards them. If biblical principles are applied to a marriage there will be harmony. Wives should honor their husbands and allow them to be the leader of the household and never be condescending or controlling. And children should respect their parents and not try to rule over them. A big reason for the dysfunctionality of the family today is due to what people view on television, as well as the internet. The liberal culture is shaping the lives of our children, and many men are addicted to pornography because of this technology.

Another big problem today is that families don’t spend quality time together. Our lives are busy and quite often both parents work and our children are being raised by babysitters, as well as television. Most jobs today require a person to be married to them instead of their spouse. If possible, a mother should stay home and raise her own children and the father should take a job where he has the time to spend with his family. Most kids today seldom see their fathers and this is not God’s plan for the family. Work is honorable but a paycheck cannot replace a parent. Sometimes it is better to live in a smaller house and drive a cheaper car in order to have more time with your family.

Below is a list of scriptures on marriage.

1 Cor 7: 1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.

1 Cor 7: 10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

Ephesians 5:22  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.