Understanding The New Covenant (Written by Mel)

Understanding  The New Covenant (Written by Mel)

 
Having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.  Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it. So let no one judge you in food or in drink, or regarding a festival or a new moon or sabbaths, which are a shadow of things to come, but the substance is of Christ.  Colossians 2: 14

For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation, having abolished in His flesh the enmity, that is, the law of commandments contained in ordinances, so as to create in Himself one new man from the two, thus making peace,  and that He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross, thereby putting to death the enmity.  Eph. 2:14

There are many groups today that are teaching that God requires Christians to be Torah observant, but this is contrary to Scripture. Jesus Christ fulfilled the Law and wiped out the requirements of it, as well as taken it out of the way, through his death upon the cross (Col. 2:14-17).  The Lord’s atonement provided for a new covenant that is based upon faith, as well as grace (unmerited favor).  The Law given to Moses by angels was necessary to teach us about sin, it was our school master, and as children the Israelites were kept by it, but as children they were also slaves to it (Gal. 3:19-25).  But through Christ’s atonement upon the cross we have now been justified by faith, and are no longer slaves to the Law, but free men, who are sons, heirs of God (Gal. 4:1-7). To put the heavy yoke of the Mosaic Law upon the necks of free men is to bring them under bondage, as well as a curse (Gal. 3:10-14). The apostle Paul said that to be entangled again with the yoke of bondage by trying to be justified by the Law, will make you estranged from Christ, as well as fallen from grace.

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.  Indeed I, Paul, say to you that if you become circumcised, Christ will profit you nothing.  And I testify again to every man who becomes circumcised that he is a debtor to keep the whole law. You have become estranged from Christ, you who attempt to be justified by law; you have fallen from grace. For we through the Spirit eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness by faith. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision avails anything, but faith working through love. Gal. 5:1  

Under the old covenant of the Law, men were required to be circumcised, as a sign of being in covenant with God, but the sign of being in covenant with Christ today, is water baptism. Through water baptism we proclaim, as well as identify with the death, burial, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Under the old covenant, if a person was caught in adultery they would be stoned to death, but Christ said, that he who is without sin cast the first stone. Also, Christ taught that the old custom of eye for an eye, or tooth for a tooth, was replaced by turning the other cheek when slapped or wronged. Also, the dietary laws of the old testament were set in place to symbolize sin, but all food is declared to be clean through prayer, (Mark7:14-23) (1 Timothy 4:1-5) (Rom. 14:1-6).

I have never met a truly Torah observant person in my life. If a person buys a shirt that is a mix of polyester and cotton he is in violation of Torah, or a farmer raises two different crops within the same field, he is also in violation of Torah. If your house has mold in it, you are required to burn it down according to the Mosaic Law. I could go on and on with many examples of how it is impossible to keep the old Law.

The early new testament Christians, as well as Christians  today, were and are, being influenced by those who teach that we are required to keep the Mosaic law.  The Apostles and Elders of the church at Jerusalem, under the leadership of James, the brother of Christ, made a decree concerning this matter. They were all in agreement, that the keeping of the Law should not be required of the Gentile Christians. They only asked that they would abstain from sexual immorality, eating food sacrificed to idols, eating of things strangled, as well as, the consumption of blood.  No further requirements were put upon these new converts.  But the new testament is clear that we need to be born again in order to be truly saved.  To be born again, we must repent and turn away from our sins, as well as, live a separated lifestyle from that of the sinful world.  We must truly make Jesus Christ the Lord of every area of our lives. The Law and the Prophets are fulfilled in one statement, You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, body, and soul, as well as love your neighbor as yourself.  Below, I have listed the Scriptures addressed in this writing.    

The Jerusalem Decree

Therefore I judge that we should not trouble those from among the Gentiles who are turning to God,  but that we write to them to abstain from things polluted by idols, from sexual immorality, from things strangled, and from blood.  For Moses has had throughout many generations those who preach him in every city, being read in the synagogues every Sabbath.” Then it pleased the apostles and elders, with the whole church, to send chosen men of their own company to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas, namely, Judas who was also named Barsabas, and Silas, leading men among the brethren. They wrote this letter by them:  The apostles, the elders, and the brethren, To the brethren who are of the Gentiles in Antioch, Syria, and Cilicia: Greetings.  Since we have heard that some who went out from us have troubled you with words, unsettling your souls, saying, “You must be circumcised and keep the law” —to whom we gave no such commandment— it seemed good to us, being assembled with one accord, to send chosen men to you with our beloved Barnabas and Paul, men who have risked their lives for the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. We have therefore sent Judas and Silas, who will also report the same things by word of mouth. For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit, and to us, to lay upon you no greater burden than these necessary things:that you abstain from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well. Farewell. Acts15:19  

O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you that you should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed among you as crucified? This only I want to learn from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh? Galatians 3:1   
For as many as are of the works of the law are under the curse; for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who does not continue in all things which are written in the book of the law, to do them.”  But that no one is justified by the law in the sight of God is evident, for “the just shall live by faith.”  Yet the law is not of faith, but “the man who does them shall live by them.” Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”), that the blessing of Abraham might come upon the Gentiles in Christ Jesus, that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith. Galatians 3: 10

Purpose of the Law

What purpose then does the law serve? It was added because of transgressions, till the Seed should come to whom the promise was made; and it was appointed through angels by the hand of a mediator.  Now a mediator does not mediate for one only, but God is one. Is the law then against the promises of God? Certainly not! For if there had been a law given which could have given life, truly righteousness would have been by the law. But the Scripture has confined all under sin, that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe. But before faith came, we were kept under guard by the law, kept for the faith which would afterward be revealed. Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor. Galatians 3: 19

Now I say that the heir, as long as he is a child, does not differ at all from a slave, though he is master of all, but is under guardians and stewards until the time appointed by the father. Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world. But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born  of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ. Galatians 4:

Two Covenants

Tell me, you who desire to be under the law, do you not hear the law?  22 For it is written that Abraham had two sons: the one by a bondwoman, the other by a freewoman.  23 But he who was of the bondwoman was born according to the flesh, and he of the freewoman through promise,  24 which things are symbolic. For these are the two covenants: the one from Mount Sinai which gives birth to bondage, which is Hagar—  25 for this Hagar is Mount Sinai in Arabia, and corresponds to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children—  26 but the Jerusalem above is free, which is the mother of us all.  27 For it is written: “Rejoice, O barren, You who do not bear! Break forth and shout, You who are not in labor! For the desolate has many more children than she who has a husband.” 28 Now we, brethren, as Isaac was, are children of promise.  29 But, as he who was born according to the flesh then persecuted him who was born according to the Spirit, even so it is now.  30 Nevertheless what does the Scripture say? “Cast out the bondwoman and her son, for the son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with the son of the freewoman.”  31 So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman but of the free. Galatians 4: 1

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5: 13

Dietary laws

When He had called all the multitude to Himself, He said to them, “Hear Me, everyone, and understand:  There is nothing that enters a man from outside which can defile him; but the things which come out of him, those are the things that defile a man. If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear!” When He had entered a house away from the crowd, His disciples asked Him concerning the parable.  So He said to them, “Are you thus without understanding also? Do you not perceive that whatever enters a man from outside cannot defile him, because it does not enter his heart but his stomach, and is eliminated, thus purifying all foods?” And He said, “What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man.”  Mark 7: 14  

Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from foods which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving;  for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.  1 Timothy 4:1  
Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things. For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables. Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God has received him. Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand. One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. He who observes the day, observes it to the Lord; and he who does not observe the day, to the Lord he does not observe it. He who eats, eats to the Lord, for he gives God thanks; and he who does not eat, to the Lord he does not eat, and gives God thanks.  Romans 14:1  

Dream of the Pilgrim - Written by Mel

I want to share this article Mel wrote for his blog http://swordofthespirit77.blogspot.com/ :



Dream of the Pilgrim
Written by Mel

On August 2, the Lord gave me a dream similar to John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress. Although the dream was not as long or as detailed, as Bunyan’s dream, it was at least two hours in length. I will give a condensed version of the dream. As the dream began, I was looking down upon a ship that appeared to be from the Colonial era. Then I was standing within the ship talking to my wife, I explained to her that we were in Plymouth, Massachusetts and the ship was a reproduction of the Mayflower. We then discussed how America was founded as a Christian nation, as well as how most Americans have removed God from sight and sound in order to pursue their own pleasures. I also understood that Christians are pilgrims passing through this world, with the responsibility of sharing the Gospel with the unsaved.

Then I noticed a large staircase ascending into the air with many rooms attached at different levels. I began to ascend the staircase, and I entered a room that resembled a ballroom filled with people dressed in formal attire. I was told by the Lord that these people were lovers of pleasure more than of God, and most of them never read a single verse from the Bible in their life. I then noticed that many of the people were carrying glasses of wine in their hands, and most were drunk.
 
Then I entered a room filled with men drunk from the wine of sin, and there was broken glass everywhere. Many of the men were passed out, and some were dead. Then the Lord said to me that the wages of sin is death.
Then I entered another room filled with men that had lost all hope and they were very depressed. I could feel their despair and it was quite overwhelming, it gave me a strong sense of compassion for these men. The Lord said that this was the place of despair, and true peace was found only in a relationship with him.

 Then I noticed a room at the very top of the staircase, and it was very high in the air. I entered the room, and I noticed a pulpit with three crosses engraved on it, as well as altars for kneeling all around the room.  Above the room there was no ceiling, only a beautiful sky filled with the golden light of God’s glory. The Lord said to me that this was the place of repentance and new birth. I understood that if a person would repent of their sins, as well as put their faith in Christ, that they would experience true peace, as well as joy, and would discover the true meaning of life. Then I departed the room and began to descend the staircase.

I then noticed a man climbing the staircase toward the upper room, he was covered with leprosy, and he stank with a pungent body odor from sin. I felt unconditional love for this man and I would do anything I could to help him, I didn’t care what he looked like or the smell that came from his body.  I reached out my arm to him and asked if I could give him a hand.  I helped pull him up, and I gave him a hug, and told him that I loved him. I told him that I knew what was in the upper room, and he replied, “Don’t tell me, I must find out for myself.” Then before the man ascended the staircase to this upper room, I told him that things were going to get a whole lot better! Then the Lord told me that after this man repented of his sins and experienced the new birth, he would be healed from sin, as well as given a white garment.  This was the end of dream.

 I awoke from this dream in tears, because I could feel the love that God has for his creation. I understood that God loved mankind so much that he was willing to leave his throne in Glory and become a man and die on the cross for us. The Lord is willing to forgive us of all of our sins, no matter how big they are if we will repent of them, repentance means to turn away from them. The Lord is very patient, as well as merciful with each of us, he gives us time to grow in our Christian walk. We enter the Kingdom of God as a baby, we learn to walk by taking baby steps at first, we also start off on milk, then eventually we mature to strong meat. The Lord does not expect perfection, but he does expect us to grow spiritually, as well as to produce good fruit (Galatians 5). We are also called to be set apart from the sinful world, if a person is truly born again it will show in their lifestyle. Also consider these Scriptures.

 1 John 1: 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 Timothy 6: 11 But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.  12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

2 Cor 7:10  For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.

Luke 15:7  I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.

  1 Cor 6: 9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites,  10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.  11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.                 

How to be a Power Couple

In today’s society, the term "Power Couple" is a common phrase. This term usually refers to two people from prestigious backgrounds that have gotten married. For example, two well-known celebrities, or two people from prominent families combining their power and wealth. The problem with this type of power couple is that they tend to get married for all the wrong reasons and such marriages rarely last. Lesson number one; marry the right person for all the right reasons, not for money, fame, power, or family pressures. Marry only for love. If you choose to get married because you cannot stand to live even one second apart from your dearest, then you are already on the right track.

However, as wonderful as being madly in love with your spouse is, you can always take your marriage to an even higher level and make it even better. You can truly become part of a marriage that is full of love, peace, joy, respect, romance, and that lasts forever. You and your mate can be a literal power couple.

The best way to become a power couple is not to rely on your own strength as individuals or as a couple, but to call upon the Power of God with prayer, praise, and bible study.

O God, You are more awesome than Your holy places. The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people. Blessed be God! Psalm 68:35 Do not be fooled into thinking that God only listens to people when they pray in large groups such as at a church service. Your prayers as a couple are just as powerful. "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them." Matthew 18:20 This means that God listens just as intently to what you have to say when it is just as the two of you and is right there with you.

God does not just answer any prayer. The bible clearly states that God listens best to those who are righteous and abide in Him and obey His commands. In other words, if you are cheating on your mate, yet are begging God to give you a job you want, do not expect miraculous results. I am not saying that God only answers the prayers of the righteous, and He may ignore the prayers of those that faithfully serve Him, but you are more likely to get positive results when living a pure life.

Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples. John 15:4-8
 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. "If you love Me, keep My commandments. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever. John 14:13-16
Prayer also requires faith. If you and/or your mate are lacking faith, please still pray together and talk about the reasons for your lack of faith. Oftentimes your spouse can encourage you and help build your faith, thus increasing the power in your prayer life. I’m not just preaching to the choir; I often struggle in the area of faith, but God is gracious and only requires faith the size of a mustard seed. That’s great news not only for me, but for you as well.

"The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field, which indeed is the least of all the seeds; but when it is grown it is greater than the herbs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches." Matthew 30:31-32
So Jesus answered and said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done. And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." Matthew 21:21-22
　Another way to be a Power Couple and call upon the Power of God is through praise. If you are shy like I am, singing in front of your mate may seem awkward the first few times, but just remember that you are not singing to your mate, you are singing to God and He does not care about the quality of your voice. Be sincere and be ready to listen in case God has something to say back to you. You will see in the below scripture that Paul and Silas had results while "praying and singing."

But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone's chains were loosed. Acts 16:25-26
And yet another way to enhance your prayer life and increase your strength as a power couple is through fasting. You can read more about that topic on this blog Mel and I wrote together: http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2014/08/fasrinh-and-prayer-written-by-mel-and.html Notice in the verse below that again, the mention of having faith the size of a mustard seed.

And Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him; and the child was cured from that very hour. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not cast it out?" So Jesus said to them, "Because of your unbelief; for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. However, this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting." ^{- Matt 17:18-21}
Another great way to be a power couple is to pray for each other.  Do this both together as well as when you pray alone.  Pray for specific needs as well as encouraging each other in your spiritual walks. Encourage faith and boldness. For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes. Romans 1:16 Encourage the gifts you see in your mate. As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. I Peter 4:10 Being a Christian has never been an easy road and it is very easy to get discouraged. Pray for your mate even when he does not ask you to. Lay hands on one another and pray for peace and security. Mel and I both really appreciate it when one of us sees the other having a down day and we say, "Let me pray for you." I would highly recommend reading "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian as she gives a wonderful list of topics to pray over your mate (works for husbands to pray over wives as well).
　
...Without ceasing, I remember you in my prayers day and night. II Timothy 1:3

Therefore comfort one another and edify one another. I Thessalonians 5:11

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. James 5:13-18

On the subject of praying for one another, I want to stress a little more that it is good to pray separately as well as together.  As you know, Mel and I love reading together.  (Which, by the way, is another way to be a power couple - spend as much time together as you possibly can.) We recently finished the book "The List" by Robert Whitlow.  This was an excellent suspenseful book, but also very spiritual.  Two of the characters in the book enjoyed the use of a prayer closet.  After reading that book, I decided to turn the closet into my room into a prayer closet where I now shut myself inside when I pray alone.  You do not need a literal closet, but praying alone can sometimes take away all your distractions and really help you focus on what to pray about.  All in all, if you only pray once a day, I suggest doing it with your mate, but if you have more time, then I really recommend some quiet time with God alone as well.  I have had a tough time praying since last October, but I can still find the words to say "thank you" to God and ask Him to bless our marriage and help me be a good wife.  Prayer time should not be all about asking God for things anyway, but if you do not know what to say, simply say thank you.

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.  Matthew 6:6

I am sure there are many more topics I can include on enhancing your life as a power couple, but I will just list one more: bible study. Whether you are new believers or have been practically born in a church, there is always the need for studying your bible as a couple as well as individually. And don’t just simply read a few chapters together, discuss what you have read and honestly share what you think the verses meant and even how you can apply them to your life. Invest in a good bible that includes a bible study. Mel and I really enjoy "The Family Life Marriage Bible."

Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. II Timothy 2:15

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2

Old-Fashioned Values

People who choose not to drink, smoke, sleep with those to whom they not married, take drugs, cheat, lie, etc., are often referred to as squares, goody-two-shoes, and very often called self-righteous. I would much rather have a reputation for old-fashioned values and called every single name in the book that insults moralistic behavior, than live with regrets. I may be old-fashioned, but my marriage is happy, healthy, successful, and full of romance.

I would not say our beliefs are controversial, but I would say they are unpopular and go against the more common ways of man. I will try to keep this as simple as possible and stick to just a few issues that things the world considers as old-fashioned, but we see as a recipe for an enduring marriage.

Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:21

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? I Corinthians 6:19

We all know the bible does not say drinking alcohol is wrong. What is does say is that one is not to get drunk. Getting drunk causes one to act inappropriately and do things they would not normally do. You all know the list from minor things to excessive laughing or crying to major things like having sex with someone you are not married to, and driving so reckless you take a life. Why take that chance? It is better to abstain from both alcohol and even so-called harmless drugs and remove even the slightest possibility of doing something you cannot take back. Also, the addictive qualities of alcohol and drugs are enormous and such addictions destroy families. (By the way, I worked in law enforcement for 7 years and I can say for a fact that there is no such thing as a "harmless" drug, so do not fool yourself into thinking something such as marijuana is no big deal. It is just as much the cause of crimes, death, and family crisis any other drug.)

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.  Philippians 4:8

But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  Matthew 5:28

It is not healthy to watch movies with nudity or sex scenes. I will take this one step father, and say you should even turn the movie off if the characters are dressed too provocatively. I have touched on the issue of the dangers of pornography before http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2014/05/pornography-is-not-victimless-sin.html, so please also read that blog Mel and I wrote together. Allowing youself to be sexually stirred up by someone other than your spouse is a line that should not be crossed. Be brutally honest with yourself, and if you are feeling titilated by watching a movie star show off way too much flesh, have the courage to turn off whatever it is you are watching. Your spouse will not chastise you for admitting to these feelings, and will be gratfeul you are so loyal to him/her, that you are willing to say, "Enough!" to smut. See also http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2014/01/eye-candy.html

It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.  Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.  I Corinthians 7:1-3

We do not believe in hugging people of the opposite sex (with the expception of relatives). That may seem silly, but it is a biblical pricipal. What Paul was saying (in the above verse) is that it's not wise to tempt youself with the flesh of someone not your spouse. And that we should save our affections for only our mate. Not everyone who wants a hug is a pervert, but, and I am taking this from an angle from talking to men and what they have admitted to, that hugging an attractive woman is a huge turn on to them. Mel has even over-heard men in his former church say they could not wait until they were told to hug another church member because there were several women they were anxious to get their arms around. The only person Mel and I want to stimulate is each other. If someone tries to hug you, quickly offer a freindly handshake. It is better to rule on the side of caution and risk hurting a few feelings. Whenever we have offered a hand over a hug, no one has been offended. Even if they are put off, it is better to offend them than insult your spouse by allowing another person to find pleasure in your embrace.

For the commandment is a lamp, And the law a light; Reproofs of instruction are the way of life, To keep you from the evil woman, From the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, Nor let her allure you with her eyelids. For by means of a harlot A man is reduced to a crust of bread; And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. Can a man take fire to his bosom, And his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, And his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.Proverbs 6:23-29

My most read blog is titled "The Triuth about affairs."  http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-truth-about-affairs.html  If you have not read it, please take the time to do so. Because it has been so widley read, I will not repeat myself too much. However, it is worth saying again that affairs are toxic. Even freindships witth the opposite sex are dangerous, and I strongly suggest that once you get married, you have the rule to never spend time alone with someone of the opposite sex, and this includes over the phone / computer. If you have the need to confide in someone other than your mate (which I do not recommend as you and your spouse should be open and upfront with each other aboout all things), make sure that person is of the same sex. If you desire a girls' or guys' night out, that's great, but be sure it is just the girls or guys and that the activity you particpate in does not compromise your marriage.      

Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.  But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her.  And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.  But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.  For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? I Corinthians 7:10-16

“For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.” Malachi 2:16

Divorce is not an option other than over the issue of an affair or abuse (this includes to your children). People today would much rather call it quits than to work things out. When people mark option on the diovorce papers that says "Irreconcilable Differences," they are simply saying they refuse to try to fix things. I have said many times that there is no shame in seeking counseling if you cannot work things out on your own. Theabove verses say that it is better to stay together even if one of the spouses is a believer and you are, as your faith very well may win him/her over.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,  that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,  that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.  So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body,of His flesh and of His bones.  “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33

I am saving this issue for last, because if you stick to this principal first and foremost, everything else will naturally fall into place for a joyful and peaceful marriage. The world says that it is okay for her to wear the pants in the family and bully her husband. In fact Hollywood shows most marriages with the women nagging her husband while he complies but later complains to his buddies and then drools over other women behind her back. Being submissive to your spouse and allowing him to be the leader is probably the most old-fashioned value of all the above. I have addressed this issue more than any other but the truth does not change. Feel free to read http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2014/03/love-respect-communication.html and http://thankful-julie.blogspot.com/2014/04/when-is-it-okay-not-to-submit-to-your.html .  

With all this said, I want to make it clear that I am well aware that I know I could be even more old-fashioned and have even less of the world in me. I know I fail and must repent of my selfish ways. But the point is that following the pricipals from the bible may seem old-fashioned or backwards, but they are a sure formula for a wonderful, lasting, fun, delightful, and satisfying marriage!

Christian Marriage Principles, Written by Mel

Mel wrote this for his blog, "Sword of the Spirit Teachings" http://swordofthespirit77.blogspot.com/ and is letting me share it for my blog!

 

Christian Marriage Principles, Written by Mel

 Satan’s desire is to destroy the Christian family in order to ruin our testimony, as well as render us useless for God’s work. That is why it is important for our marriages to be grounded in Christ, for if Christ is the foundation, then when the storms of life come, our marriages will remain strong and unshakable. It is also important to remain clothed with the armor of Christ to be able to stand against the evil one in these dark times. Our society is trying to redefine marriage by legalizing gay marriage, but God is the author of the marriage covenant and he has determined that it is between a man and a woman. It is sad that in our public schools today, gay marriage is being endorsed, as well as encouraged, I believe that this is a sure sign of the end of the age.

Choosing the spouse that we will spend our life with is the most important decision that we will ever make, only our relationship with the Lord is of more importance. That is why we should seek the Lord with fasting and prayer concerning whom we choose. It is also very important to thoroughly get to know the person before making that lifetime commitment. I have known young people who were in such a hurry to get married that they hardly knew their spouse and then suffered the consequences. It is a good idea for most people to get pre-marriage counseling from their Pastor or another Christian counselor before walking down that aisle. Spiritual, as well as emotional maturity is very important to a stable marriage. Women want a man to be confident, strong, as well as be a spiritual and physical leader, and men want a woman to be nurturing, loving, supportive, and Christ centered.

A Christian should be loyal to their spouse in every way and should never flirt with the opposite sex. I have witnessed many married people flirt with others in the workplace and it is very disturbing. Many of these people were professing Christians and one was even a pastor in his fifties. We live in a very promiscuous society where people are bound by lust, and believe that there is grace for everything. Many believe that it is okay for a married person to have friends of the opposite sex but this is seldom innocent. I have witnessed these friendships between professing Christians of the opposite sex and it always led to an emotional bonding, and the men always developed feelings for the woman. Your spouse is the person that you should be emotionally bonded to, not Joe or Sally in the workplace. Fraternization is the first step toward adultery.

Our so-called progressive society has blurred the roles of men and women. A man is called by God to be the leader of the family and his wife is called to be submissive to him, but our society calls these old fashioned values archaic. I don’t believe that a husband should be abusive or a dictator to his wife, but should love her as his own body and be willing to give his life for her, Ephesians 5:22-25.  A spouse should put the needs of their mate before their own, as well as be tender hearted towards them. If biblical principles are applied to a marriage there will be harmony. Wives should honor their husbands and allow them to be the leader of the household and never be condescending or controlling. And children should respect their parents and not try to rule over them. A big reason for the dysfunctionality of the family today is due to what people view on television, as well as the internet. The liberal culture is shaping the lives of our children, and many men are addicted to pornography because of this technology.

Another big problem today is that families don’t spend quality time together. Our lives are busy and quite often both parents work and our children are being raised by babysitters, as well as television. Most jobs today require a person to be married to them instead of their spouse. If possible, a mother should stay home and raise her own children and the father should take a job where he has the time to spend with his family. Most kids today seldom see their fathers and this is not God’s plan for the family. Work is honorable but a paycheck cannot replace a parent. Sometimes it is better to live in a smaller house and drive a cheaper car in order to have more time with your family.

Below is a list of scriptures on marriage.

1 Cor 7: 1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.

1 Cor 7: 10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

Ephesians 5:22  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.