Bless me or bless the Father? (Written by my Husband & Me)

 

Bless me or bless the Father? (Written by my husband, Mel & Me, Julie)

Many Christians have been taught that God desires to bless his children with wealth, healing, as well as power. Although it is true that God desires to bless those who are faithful to Him (doing our best to strive for holy lives), our heavenly Father does not want to spoil us to the point where we rely only on material goods, health, success, etc. and forget how much we need Him. Many people pray bless me, bless me, but never consider how they may bless God. We should not seek after earthly riches, but heavenly riches.

Bless the Lord, O my soul; 

And all that is within me, bless His holy name!

Bless the Lord, O my soul, 

And forget not all His benefits:

Who forgives all your iniquities,

Who heals all your diseases,

Who redeems your life from destruction,

Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,

Who satisfies your mouth with good things,

So that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

Psalm 103:1-5

It seems as if you cannot even trust the so-called holiness preachers any more. Even the ones that used to speak out against sin have mostly shifted their messages to how God wants to use you, how to be strong when you are weak, call upon God and He will make you successful.  While these sentiments are not wrong, per se, they are self-serving and focus only one oneself. Instead of always asking God for favors we need to learn to ask what we can do for Him. Of course, it is not wrong to ask God for help, the Bible has many scriptures encouraging us to ask for what we need, but there needs to be a right balance.  If you spend ten minutes asking God for all you want/need (and desire these requests should only be filled within the Lord's will), then spend a minimum of ten minutes praising the Lord for all He has already done.  Even if your life feels like it is hopeless, I promise you that praising the Lord just for loving you first, will help put life into a better perspective. When you remember Jesus willingly suffered on a cross for you, it helps shift your heart to the things of God and your problems become more bearable.  

Also equally add to those ten minutes asking God how you can bless Him.  In other words ask  how you can serve Him, not how can He serve you. When we take our mind off our own problems and help those in need (whether their needs are greater or not) it truly helps you get out of your own self-centered world when you realize you are not the only one hurting. Being willing to shift your focus from your own hurts and care for the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of others, you glorify the name of Jesus more than you will ever know! Perfection will never be required, just a heart full of love!  

And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many. Mark 10:44-45   

 

Many of the television evangelists and mega-church leaders live in mansions, drive luxury cars, and steal millions of dollars from their supporters. I (Mel) have shared my faith with many people on the streets, in stores, as well as churches. The majority of unbelievers that I have spoken with bring up the lavish lifestyle of tv preachers. They claim that Christianity is all about greed, and they want no part of it. I sadly agree with them that the apostate religious leaders on tv represent greed, and not God. The preachers of the prosperity gospel are shutting people out of the kingdom of heaven. The world is repulsed by the riches that they heap upon themselves, as well as their weird hairdos, makeup, and the thrones that they sit upon. If the world can see through their deception, why are many in the church blind to it?

 The false prophets on tv tell people to give a thousand dollars, or more, and God will bless them with riches also. They tell people with large credit card debt to send them a large offering, by putting more debt upon their card and God will bless them. Christians need to learn how to bless God, as well as others, and to walk in humility. God desires for his children to have a servant’s heart, not to seek after power, position, or wealth.  

God’s Word teaches us that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. God’s Word tells us to lay up treasure in heaven, not the earth. However, God does choose to bless some with wealth, so that they may benefit others, as well as His true ministry. Job, David, Solomon, Hezekiah, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are examples of those blessed for their faithfulness to God. If you have been blessed monetarily in this life, God expects you to share what you have with those in need. If you neglect to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick and prisoner, God will say to you on that day, depart from me you worker of iniquity, I never knew you. (See Matthew 7:21-23)

When we give a cup of cold water, or food, to those in need, we bless the Lord. When we are obedient to the Lord and love one another, we also bless the Lord. If you want to bless the Lord, share your faith with others, and more importantly, live your faith by meeting their needs. If the church was willing to, it could wipe out hunger in the world, instead of supporting dead ministries.

The early Apostles were not rich in earthly terms, but were rich in spirit and deed. They did not live in palaces, or have fine things. They were often hungry, destitute, as well as persecuted; however, they learned the secret of being content in all things. We should follow their example, and seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and strive for holiness. This blesses the Lord. 

 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. 1 Timothy 6:6-10

 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon [money]". Matthew 6:24

Bride of Christ

 

I wrote this in 2017. I mentioned this blog in my recent "Hosea" video, so I wanted to post it again.

This is not an original topic, it is simply my take on the subject.  It is not the typical approach, but the way God gave it to me to share with you.  I am aware that when the bible speaks of the bride of Christ, it has to do with the church.  However, the idea that formulated in my heart revolved around more of a personal relationship as an individual bride.  For an excellent blog on what it means for the church to be the bride of Christ, please read Mel’s blog: http://swordofthespirit77.blogspot.com/2016/11/the-parable-of-wise-and-foolish-virgins.html.

 I was prompted to write this blog about a month ago while Mel and I were both miserably suffering with a flu that lasted longer than two weeks.  It was one of those flus where all you can do is sleep for 20 hours a day, everything hurts, I was running a 102-degree fever for 4 days, and Mel ended up in the emergency room because he passed out twice!  Not fun!  In a rare moment when I was awake and somewhat alert, I started thinking of how frustrating it can be to live in a fallen world where such potentially deadly flus exist.  Just because we make Jesus Lord of our lives, it does not make us exempt from such things.  Life happens, and we have to learn to roll with the punches.   Part of such an attitude is thinking of my relationship with Christ as I do my wedding vows.  I will be loyal to God in sickness and in health and in richer and poorer.  The good news is, I do not have to add, “Until death do us part,” because God has given us the gift of eternal life with Him if we repent of our sins and daily walk in ways of holiness.

Just as I will always be faithful to my precious earthly husband, I always want to be an honorable bride for my heavenly husband as well.  Jesus will come back for a bride who has done her best to live a life separated from the world, daily died to the flesh, followed the teachings and attributes of Christ, and placed Jesus as Lord of her life above all others.  We are not expected to be perfect, but the desire to be the best we can be in order to be a Light for others and please our Creator, that’s what matters most. 

Being a loving wife to my Mel does not end after the honeymoon, I must make the right daily choices to be respectful, romantic, and kind. And, yes, it is a daily choice with my relationship with Christ as well, not a one-time prayer.  Getting on your knees to ask Jesus into your heart is not a prayer of salvation, it is a prayer of new beginnings.  Only those who endure to the end will be saved, which means we are in a continual process of being saved, salvation is not automatic and it can be lost (At the very least, read Revelation chapters 2 & 3), just as earthly marriages can be lost to infidelity, abuse, and lack of love and respect. 

Mel and I will were married in June 2012, but people still tell us how cute we are and think we are newlyweds (and still do in 2021).  Our bond grows stronger because we put forth the effort to communicate and never stop learning about each other.  We are still discovering and telling new stories of our pasts.  Even telling or hearing the same stories multiple times reemphasizes how well we know each other when we realize how well we know a particular story!  (In other words, don’t be rude when your spouse repeats something; smile that you know exactly what he’s going to say next because you two are so bonded!)  We are best friends and spend hours a day talking, going for walks, and playing games.  If we ignored each other all day, let the romance fade, and spent the majority of our time apart, our marriage would fizzle.  Instead, we keep the flames of love and romance alive because we are so much in love we never want our inferno to be extinguished.  The same is very true in my approach with my walk in the Lord.  I want to make certain I never cease trying to learn all I can about His teachings.  I read my bible to remind myself of His Truths.  Even after hearing or reading the Word of God for more than 44 years, I still discover new things I never considered or simply overlooked.  Just as I keep the lines of communication open with Mel, I make sure to tell God how I feel. 

One of the best ways to show Mel I love and accept him is to pay him compliments.  I am very much against wives being nags (I would not even talk my child or pet the way some women - and men - talk to their spouses!) I love to find creative, fun, and romantic ways to show Mel how much I loved him and how much he means to me.  (You can read more about this on my ABCs of a Joyful Marriage blog: https://www.facebook.com/theabcsofajoyfulmarriage ) Although I’m obviously not going to make art projects for the Lord, I should still put forth the effort to always tell God how much I love Him and appreciate all He does for me; tell God  I love Him just for Who He is.  Prayer, praise, and worship are the best way to show Jesus how much I love Him, as well as using my talents to bring glory to His name.

To end, I will quote this paragraph from a blog I  wrote on Feb. 16, 2013 that goes perfectly with this theme titled: “It makes so much more sense to me now" I have always felt that cheating on your spouse was abhorrent, but since I've been married, I see it 100 times more so. It helps me realize even more so why the bible says God is a jealous God: Exodus 34:14, "Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God." I am also a very jealous wife. My husband is completely honorable and trustworthy, but any woman who flirts with him or even looks at him the wrong way makes me very upset. This jealousy is based on how much I love and adore him. I am possessive of him just as God is with me. It makes so much more sense to me now. Basically, I wouldn't cheat on my husband with another man because I love him so much, and he loves me. In turn, I would not cheat on God with a false god (or worship a religion, or put an idol before Him, etc.) because I love God and He loves me."

Here are some scripture verses on being the “literal” bride of Christ, or more specifically, the verses that relate to the church.  You can make these personal.

Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Then He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." And He said to me, "Write, for these words are true and faithful." And He said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son.  Revelation 21:1-7

"I, Jesus, have sent My angel to testify to you these things in the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, the Bright and Morning Star." And the Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely. Revelation 22:16-17

For as a young man marries a virgin, So shall your sons marry you; And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, So shall your God rejoice over you. Isaiah 62:5

Then a voice came from the throne, saying, "Praise our God, all you His servants and those who fear Him, both small and great!" And I heard, as it were, the voice of a great multitude, as the sound of many waters and as the sound of mighty thunderings, saying, "Alleluia! For the Lord God Omnipotent reigns! Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready." And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.  Revelation 19:5-8

The Prayers of Jesus Christ: Part 2

While this blog is not based on a specific prayer, it is based on the very powerful fact that the Bible says that Jesus prays for us! 

Likewise the spirit also helpeth our infirmities for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And He that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is in the mind of the Spirit, because He maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died , yea rather, that is risen again , who is even at the right hand of God , who also maketh intercession for us. Romans 8:26-28 & 34

It is difficult to put into words just how amazing these verses are. We see here how the blessed trinity work together on our behalf. Jesus himself prays for us with the aid of the Holy Spirit based on God's will for our lives. Who knows better the perfect will for our lives than the Almighty Creator of the Universe? No one!

He shall see the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities. Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he will divide the spoil with the strong because he hath poured his soul until death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors. Isaiah 53:11-12

Consider this example from Luke 22:31-32. In verse 31, Jesus tells Peter, "Satan has desired to sift you as wheat." Satan wants Peter's soul for hell. In verse 32 Jesus goes on to tell Peter, "But I have prayed for thee that you fail not; and when thou art converted, [you will] strengthen thy brethren." 

Jesus desires our souls as well as longs for us to be strong in our faith and minister to others. With God on our side, we will win the war and devote our souls/lives to God for all eternity

We should also learn to pray for others. For those who treat us with kindness and respect this is an easy task, but for those that have wounded us, it can be difficult.  Satan would love for you to give up and quit praying, especially when your prayers are for the salvation of others.  Your flesh will want to quit praying for those who have rejected and hurt you, but Jesus Himself said in Matthew 5:44, "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you."  When you can set aside your ego and keep praying for others, it can heal your heart and even if the relationship is not mended, you can still find power through the Holy Spirit to forgive.

 

Let us then follow the example of Jesus and practice interceding for those we love.  

Wherefore He is able to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by Him, seeing He ever liveth to make intercession for them. For such a high priest became us, who is holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and made higher than the heavens. Hebrews 7:25-26

Are you a living testimony of your faith? Written by my Husband

Are you a living testimony of your faith? Written by my Husband, Mel

The Lord occasionally reminds me that people are watching me and that I represent him. That is why it is so very important to maintain a good testimony. People watch those who claim to know Christ very carefully and they immediately recognize the hypocrites. When I was a young man, I worked as a maintenance engineer in a large office building, and I had a lot of responsibility. One day an attorney who was a tenant in the building, asked me to come into his office. He told me that he was aware that I was a Christian and that he had been carefully watching me for the last two years. He said that I was very honest, and worked very hard, and that I was a credit to my faith. This attorney was a very bitter man who lived alone, and was anti-social. The attorney then hired me to do some part time work for him. I became aware that people were watching me everywhere, even on my job, and that as an ambassador for Christ I must maintain a good work ethic, as well as honesty. I prayed for that attorney, and I hope that I was able to plant a seed in his life through my testimony.


I have met quite a few people who have been hurt by pastors, youth pastors, as well as other people in leadership positions due to hypocrisy. Many Christian leaders have been involved in sexual scandals, as well as living very lavish lifestyles from the flocks that they have fleeced. Hypocrisy, especially from Christian leadership has shipwrecked the faith of many, and this is Satan's plan. I often tell people to keep their eyes upon Jesus and not men, because men will disappoint you. The apostle Paul lived a life that truly glorified God and he told the churches to imitate him even as he imitated Christ. Paul chose to work as a tent maker so that he would not be a financial burden to those whom he ministered to. Paul lived a Christian life that was beyond reproach, and we should aspire to do the same. When God's Holy Spirit comes to live within us he begins the work of sanctification. Sanctification is the process of spiritual purification and if we will allow the Spirit to have his perfect work in our lives we will reflect the attributes of God. We are called to bear the good fruit of the Spirit and not the bad fruit of the sinful nature. If we reflect the love of Christ towards mankind we will lead people to the cross where they will find salvation.
 

In  III John 9-12 we read about a church leader named Diotrephes. Diotrephes was a malicious gossip and troublemaker, who opposed God's Apostles. He was so arrogant that he would put people out of the church who disagreed with him. John said to not imitate what is evil, but what is good, for he who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God. There are many church leaders today that are similar to Diotrephes, they oppose sound doctrine, and love the flattery of men, they try to silence God's true prophets and are consumed by the love of money. These evil men have not seen or known God, and we should not imitate them or their doctrines. John encourages the church to imitate a man named Demetrius because he has a good testimony from all and from the truth itself. This scriptural passage emphasis the importance of maintaining a good testimony. Are you a living testimony of your faith?

 
I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, does not receive us. Therefore, if I come, I will call to mind his deeds which he does, prating against us with malicious words. And not content with that, he himself does not receive the brethren, and forbids those who wish to, putting them out of the church. Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God. Demetrius has a good testimony from all, and from the truth itself. And we also bear witness, and you know that our testimony is true.  III John:9-12  

Then Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.  And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.  Revelation 2:10-11

Julie's Poetry, Part 3, 2005-2017

 

"Nevertheless God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us." 2 Corinthians 7:6

Depression (2005) (Written for a friend.)

Depression

Has settled in; 

How can she

Tame such a Beast

That devours life's joy?

With teeth and claws

That scratch and bite, 

And a forked tongue

That whispers hate and deceit, 

And purrs sweet nothings

To make her believe

Its treacherous lies

Redemption

Has paid the price

To kill the Beast

And set her free; 

With nail-pierced hands

That comfort and heal, 

And eyes of peace

Full of hope and love

And words of truth

To bless with joy

And a pure heart

Full of mercy and grace

"Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, 'Here am I; send me.'" Isaiah 6:8

When Called (2006)

It is an honor to be called out,

To have God say you are ready,

To walk through the  battlefield

Equipped in the armor of His holy word;

To take a stand where others fall

And say, “Yes, Lord, use me.”

Not to whimper or cry,

But to shout because you are chosen;

To tremble in awe at such an assignment,

And pray for wisdom and strength;

To try to understand,

And believe God’s will even things seem impossible;

To say, “Yes, Lord, teach me.”

To feel His blessing grip a hold of you,

And kneel in His presence;

To not give up or give in,

But to push ahead through the muck

And when you reach the end,

To praise Him for surviving;

To say, “Yes, lord, heal me.”

And not become bitter;

To reflect on all He taught you;

To remember He chose you;

To feel your faith grow stronger,

And heart more open;

To do it all again,

And say, “Yes, Lord, use me.” 

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Why Me? (2006)

Losing precious animals,

Religious discrimination,

Financial woes,

And I wonder why me?

What have I done?

Am I being punished?

What sins have I not confessed?

In the midst of my pity party,

God asks me,

“Why would you want to be exempt?”

I should be ready to accept the challenges,

Be ready to grow in faith,

Grow in confidence of His love,

Grow in conviction

So when the storms come,

And I know they will,

I should again ask, why me?

Why am I so special?

To be chosen,

To be given the opportunity

To draw closer to heaven,

To know God more intimately,

And prove myself worthy

I may never know why me,

Why trials come my way,

Why I am asked to endure,

But I will do my best

To honor His decision,

And not make God regret His choice,

Shake His head and wonder,

“Why you?

“I should have chosen someone else.”

"That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." Matthew 5:45

When the Rain Falls (2006) 

If the rain falls

On the just and the unjust, 

Then why be just?

If life promises to fare no better

If you pledge your life to God, 

Then why do so?

If there seems to be no purpose

To anything at any time, 

Then why believe in a merciful God?

There are no simple answers

Only mystery piled upon mystery

There will be frustration

There will be answered questions, 

There will be heartache, 

And there will be joy

The Bible promises the weeping will cease, 

That all will work together for His good; 

Whether we understand it or not, 

Our change comes from believing, 

In knowing eternity will bring peace

The difference is in allowing yourself to feel...

Feel repentant,

Feel peace,

Feel God's love,

Feel humble,

Feel broken,

Feel healed

The rain will fall

On the just and the unjust,

So be just,

It will not make the sun come out,

But it will change how you handle the storm;

It will fill you with unfathomable strength,

And though you may not believe it now,

You will eventually find joy in the mourning 

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." Isaiah 9:6

Julie's Christmas Carol (2010) 

Have yourself a merry little Christmas, 

Even if you heart is broken; 

When grief has pierced your soul

With pain so deep it can't be spoken

Remember the little town of Bethlehem, 

And the stable that held pure light; 

The Christ child that came to heal our wounds

Even on the darkest night

Away in a manger

Is not just about a baby in the hay, 

Jesus is alive forever, 

And washes sorrow away

Do you see what I see?

When all seems lost and day is night, 

It is yours to discover...

Miracles still happen when you seek His Light

"We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed." 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Reflection (2010) 

As I face the end of 2010, 

I do not look back with fondness; 

Truth be told, 

It has been a harsh year...

Two surgeries for my dog,

Death of another dog,

Death of three cats,

And injury to a fourth cat 

Facing trials against those I love

Has threatened to break me;

I am bent and twisted,

And not quite the same,

But not broken

I can cling to the Truth

That God loves me;

Right now it has to be enough 

To sustain a cracked heart -

One finding it difficult to maintain a rhythm

Not interrupted by loss and fear

I must press on toward God's Light,

And not cast an interfering shadow

Or shrink into the darkness

Though there is comfort 

In a clenched fist and stubborn will,

I must let go and be free

Of burdens weighing heavy on my chest

Though I do not quite know how to do so

As I face the beginning of 2011,

I am not certain how to look forward

Without closing my eyes

Or straining my neck looking behind;

But I will push ahead

With Hope at my side

And perhaps even peace in my heart

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Mel (2012) (A Triptych Poem, Written for my husband)

his past his loss his sorrow

his parents his brother his wife

his pain his grief his anguish

his faith his doubt his confliction

his belief his God his healing

his calling his vision his dream

his obedience  his decision his conviction

his loss his grief his heartache

his exodus his loneliness his sorrow

his friend his comfort his healing

his outreach his faith his resilience

his dream his belief his determination

his acceptance his love his openness

his healing his hope  his faith

his love his wife his future

"The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him." Nahum 1:7

Let the Strongholds Fall (2017) (This one is set to music.)

Let the strongholds fall,

Let the storm be still,

Let the heavens call,

Lord, we’ll do Your will.

 

Let the trumpet sound,

Let the angels sing,

Let the enemy be bound,

Let Your fire rain.

 

Lord, we hear Your voice,

We will worship You,

And with all our hearts,

Let our praise be true.

 

Let Your Spirit come

Purify our hearts,

May our hands be clean

As we bow our knees.

 

Lord, we seek Your face,

Lord we humbly pray,

May You send us out,

Let us work Your fields

 

Let the strongholds fall,

Let the storm be still,

Let the heavens call,

Lord, we’ll do Your will.

 

Let the trumpet sound,

Let the angels sing,

Let the enemy be bound,

Let Your fire rain.

Julie's Poetry, Part 2, 1997-2003

 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Galatians 6:9

The Point (1997)

I am not weary of doing good,

But of trying to change others,

The harder the effort I make,

The more I am snubbed and insulted,

Making it seem as if no one can be changed

I don’t know if anyone cares to hear the Truth,

To know life can be better,

All that matters is that I’m in their way to living guilt-free,

And being under conviction only makes them angrier,

And they show no sign of surrender

So what is the point?

If no one ever changes

I wonder if I should still try

Or give up and let them wallow in their immorality,

And not pray so hard

But I know I cannot cease to live a holy example,

I will not change to suit them,

I just wish I didn’t care so much,

Or that I knew the outcome,

To know if somehow, something I said or did got through

"And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not." John 1:5

John 1:5 (1997)

The darkness may not understand the Light,

But the Light desires to break through -

Piercing the heart of mockery;

Even if just a crack of Light makes way,

Perhaps a change will occur,

Or perhaps the confusion of the Light in the dark

Will make the blackness much colder,

And the Light will be forced out even more so;

For not understanding why the Light strives to overcome the dark

Brings about a misdirected anger -

Grasping to understand, but remaining confused,

Not understanding the war within,

Struggling to break free from the suffocating darkness,

But not yet willing;

For if the dark has never experienced a cleansing heat,

The intrusion it feels wants to annihilate the Light

And never again be forced to look at things through bright eyes;

But the Light will come again,

Fir it will forever exist,

And it will not cease to attempt to penetrate the dark,

For the Light never loses strength and sends fear into the dark's soul,

So the dark will never forget that the Light was there -

And the memory of the warmth will remain

"Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?." Matthew 18:33

Don’t be Offended (1997)

When others feel the need to insult you or your beliefs,

Don’t be offended - -

Feel compassion,

For the throwing of insults proves they are weak;

They have such a low self-image

That they must tear others down to build themselves up;

So don’t be offended - -

Feel pity,

For unless their attitude changes

They are doomed to an eternity of misery,

As their guilt builds higher;

Don’t be offended - -

Feel sorrow,

For their hearts are breaking,

And the anger you see

Is a reflection of the hurt

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Isaiah 40:31 (1999) 

“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength…”

I have become quite good at waiting - -

Waiting for my soul mate,

Waiting for a job to make me happy,

Waiting to feel true joy;

My strength is only renewed 

When I remember that God is in control of my future,

Only His guidance will pull me through

“…they shall mount up with wings like eagles…”

I haven’t yet learned to fly,

But my wings grow stronger every day,

As my faith grows,

And I fully begin to accept

That God is in control,

Only then do I feel the wind beneath me,

As I soar on the mercy of Christ

“…they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

It is hard not to grow weary of this world,

Of the selfishness,

Of the violence,

Of the hate,

But I have found myself enduring,

Wrapped in the security of Christ,

And His everlasting love 

"In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace." Ephesians 1:7

A New Song (2002) (Written for a friend)

Mistakes were made,

Hearts were broken,

Relationships were shattered,

But that was not the end

Redemption enveloped her soul,

Tears were shed,

A bruised reed was mending,

A new stage was emerging

Healing had begun,

Changes were being made,

Lives were being restored,

A new day had dawned

A new love,

A new faith,

A stronger heart

This was just the beginning

Beauty shines,

Soul is strengthened,

Life and love are embraced,

A new song awaits!

"For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalm 139:13-14

(Note: Just a reminder I did not get married until June 2012, when I was almost 40 years old!)

Designed by God (2003)

People ask me

If it is hard to live alone,

But I have never been afraid

To spend time by myself;

My mother tells me

Since I was a child,

I would spend hours alone,

Imagining and creating stories;

Entertaining myself 

Was a habit I acquired 

At a very young age;

It is how I know this is who I am meant to be;

For the Bible

Tells me I was designed by God

While still in my mother’s womb;

God planned the child, teenager, and woman

I would grow to be;

God knew I would be alone,

So He gave me a gift with animals - -

He sent them to me for my companionship;

So yes, I know God chose the path I would travel;

I was meant to remain unmarried,

To be content sharing my home

With dogs and cats alone;

And I am satisfied with my life as is,

Because it is what God chose for me

Julie's Poetry, Part 1, 1991-1994

I do not write poems very often (I am not a very good poet), but I wanted to share these very honest poems with you. I was still rough around the edges in my walk with the Lord, but these poems show a thread of faith throughout my life as I grew in the Lord. There are a lot of them so I have divided them into three parts.  I have not written any new poems since 2017.

“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

Be Still (1991)

Be still…

My heart pounds and I clench my fists,

I can feel my frustrations surge again,

The tears sit quietly in the corners of my eyes

And know…

What waits for me?

Are my dreams to remain wishes?

Will I even know when reality comes?

That I…

I cannot grasp what is to be,

There are no visible signs leading me,

I do not know what the future holds

Am God!

The Peace of His strength now surrounds me,

Life’s questions begin to fade,

What waits for me will come

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." Pslam 27:13

Waiting (1993)

I’ve heard it said before

That only the wicked are downcast,

Only they are restless with life,

But even I,

With Christ at my side,

Even I am impatient

I long for a better future,

Expecting to again love life,

Though nothing ever changes,

Yet I still wait,

Praying for a miracle,

But I wait with an open heart

A prophecy was spoken one night,

Telling me of God’s love,

It said He was planning my future,

And as I cried,

With bitter tears turned to pearls,

I cried with hope and peace

God’s love is teaching me every day

To trust whatever He has planned,

There is freedom in God’s words

And I love Him,

Knowing His promises are true,

I love Him with all my heart

"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

Mercy (1993)

I sit alone to talk to You,

But words are so hard to come by,

I want to speak of my love for You,

But You are so hard to comprehend,

You surrendered Your dignity to be nailed to a tree,

How can I put such an act into words?

In all Your majesty and glory, Lord,

You allow me to come,

Alone I will be with You,

To bask in Your mercy

When I failed You and broke Your heart,

You still loved and cherished me, Lord,

And never gave up on me,

Compassion saw past my stubborn heart,

And allowed me to come back into Your arms,

To lean on Your love alone,

Knowing Your mercy will always find me

No matter how hard life may be,

Your love brings things into perspective,

Your grace makes life bearable,

And my trust remains in You

“Examine me, O Lord, and prove me; try my reins and my heart. For thy lovingkindness is before mine eyes: and I have walked in thy truth." Psalm 26:2-3

My Prayer (1993)

Dear Lord,

Anger rose up within me today…

How could one more bad thing happen?

How could I possibly handle more?

I am not so strong, Lord.

But as I opened up Your word,

A wave of Your comfort swept over me;

You knew how much I needed Your love.

Your compassionate voice told me all I needed was You.

You also gently reminded me of my words:

I asked You to test me, Lord,

I begged for You to make me stronger 

Make me ready to serve You - -

Whatever it takes, Lord;

I am willing to be used by and for You.

And as I grow emotionally bound to You,

And the tears I used to hate surge,

I am comforted by those tears,

For You are the One who caused them to be,

And through them, I am stronger,

For I feel You most when I am weak,

And even while I’m telling You my day’s woes,

You empower ne in Your love…

I love You, Lord!

Thank You for trusting me enough to test me - -

I will do my best for You.

Amen

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:" John 10:27

The Voice (1994)

So many frustrations in my life,

So many hardships to bear,

Yet a peace encloses my heart,

And a Voice gently tells me not to fear

My senses come alive as this Voice speaks…

I have heard that sound before.

The soothing Voice that calms my anxieties

Is my dearest friend - - my Lord Jesus Christ!

"Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." John 8:12

True Happiness (1994)

I have discovered happiness is surreal,

There is no real joy in this world,

Pain lurks around every corner,

Ready to drag down another victim

If only I look past worldly boundaries,

I can see a brighter Light - -

A Light that dims the sun,

And where there is never any darkness

I reach for that Light - -

Though I am uncertain what it brings,

For I know it is Jesus Christ,

And His peace is all I need to know

If only I will let Him lead me,

And use only desires He gives to me,

Then His happiness will bring comfort,

And this world’s pleasures won’t mean a thing

"And I saw a great white throne, and him that sat on it, from whose face the earth and the heaven fled away... And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works." Revelation 20:11-13

Judgment Day (1994)

When all is said and done,

And I stand before my Lord,

He will not ask me of my wealth,

Nor will He ask about my successes,

He does not care whether I wore the proper fashion,

For this world will fade away;

What my God really wants to know

Is if I truly loved Him with all my heart,

Did I desire His perfect will for my life

And seek His guidance with fervent prayer?

Am I practicing all I read in His holy word?

Or am I a hearer only?

Am I a quiet witness?

Do I shout His name in the streets?

Or do I pretend He means nothing to me?

When I meet my Jesus face to face,

And bow in fear and reverence,

I want Him to know that He is everything to me,

And that I tried to be everything for Him. 

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

Because of Men (1994)

Because of men,

Women go weak in the knees,

They write enough poetry to fit into a book,

They cry and feel pain,

And make fools of themselves

Because of men,

Women settle down to marry,

They learn to cook and clean,

They become mothers

And begin a happy home

Because of mankind,

Jesus died upon a cross,

He wrote them a love story in His Holy book,

He cried and felt pain,

He let them make Him look like a fool

Because of mankind,

Christ rose from the dead

He returned to heaven

He prepared a place for them

He offers a happy home

“ I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me!" Philippians 4:13

Philippians 4:13 (1994) 

God, help me,

I can barely find the strength to breathe,

There is so much weighing on my soul,

And I fear this time it’s there to stay;

Give me strength, sweet Jesus,

I cannot do this without You;

I feel I will fall if You let go,

Please hold me tighter - -

I need You!

Don’t give up on me, Lord,

It would be so easy;

Don’t let me cease to believe in You,

For I feel my doubts are stronger than I am - -

They are pulling me so hard,

I feel I am drowning!

O, Heavenly Father, save me,

Don’t let me lose sight of Your love,

Pull me up from despair,

Don’t let me give in to disbelief,

Make me trust in You more;

I know I have pushed You away,

But I’ve always known I need You;

Let me come to You, dear Savior,

I feel I can no longer burden You,

But I need You once again;

I will never stop needing You,

For without You I am weak,

But through Your strength,

I can do all things!

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance." Psalm 42:5

Sometimes (1994)

Sometimes I actually forget,

And everything seems... normal,

There is no fear,

No doubt,

But then an unexplainable anger will come

In remembrance of all that's ripping me apart

Sometimes I blame God,

And He feels so far away,

I cannot feel His presence,

And praying seems futile,

But then I realize how much I need Him,

And He pulls me back into His arms