Learning to be
Content in all Things
Since I have started my new job, God has not only been
teaching me lessons in compassion (as I wrote about in my previous blog), but
also in learning to be content. The
latter has been much more difficult for me to learn.
I worked in law enforcement from 1999-2006 where I started
off as a dispatcher, moved on to be a Community Service Officer (a job that is mostly
office work, but also required field work), and a crime analyst. When we moved to our current location in
2014, I tried to get hired on as a dispatcher.
I successfully jumped through all the hoops that were required of me,
but just as they were about to offer me the position, I failed the hearing test. Though I had successfully performed the job
with a headset in the past, they refused to work with me, even on a trial
basis.
From 2007-2011, I was a veterinary technician. Since moving here, I have not been able to
find work in this field either. There
are only three vet clinics in the county and I have applied to them (and even
had one interview), but have had no success.
I would much prefer to stay at home and not work. Yet, as with most people, it is not
financially possible. If I must work, I
would prefer a job in one of the fields in which I have been trained, but so
far the only job I could find was working in the school cafeteria in 2015-2016 where
I fell on the ice outside work, was badly injured, and forced to resign. I have had a few other short-term jobs here
and there, but all of them dead-end.
Again, I am working in a job that has zero promise, and am making the
least amount of money I have made since 1991 (based on money earned from hours
worked, not based on salary, which is the lowest since 2006).
Truth be told, I have been confused with God for not
allowing me to be hired at any of the jobs that require more skill or pay more
money. I have applied for many jobs in
the past three years, yet rarely even get interviews. There have been some good jobs I would have
loved and would have made at least three to four times the amount I am
currently making. Money is not all I
care about, but if I am forced to leave the security of my husband, I would
prefer it to be financially worth the inconvenience.
So [Jesus] said to
them, "… be content with your wages."
Luke 3:14
Well, I have certainly failed that lesson. I have been complaining about the low wages
since the first day at my new job, and have not ceased. Is it better than $0 an hour? Does it help at least a little bit with our
bills? Then I need to focus on the
positive and not worry that we have yet to start a savings account or are able
to plan for any special occasions.
But what about the fact that I have been physically
miserable since I started this job?
Because I am on my feet all day and doing a lot of cleaning, the job has
aggravated the degenerative disc disease I was diagnosed with after the fall on
the ice (which is also due to a car accident I had in 1995). To top that off, I seem to be allergic to the
sanitizer we use and my asthma attacks are the worst they have been in over a
year, and I cannot seem to get over the bronchitis and bilateral ear infections
due this allergy (not to mention the added medical expense of the recent doctor’s
visit and medication). Don’t I have a
right to complain?
Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and
it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. I Timothy 6:6-9
Yes, I have food and clothing, but I am still having
difficulty finding contentment. I am a thickheaded
pupil! What about what I want; doesn’t that matter? I do my best to pray that the Lord’s will and
not my will be done, but why must the Lord’s way always feel like it is the
opposite of what I want?
Let your conduct
be without covetousness; be
content with such things as you have. For He
Himself has said, "I
will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What
can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:5-6
Okay, it’s sinking in better now. I should not worry about everyone else who
seems to have a career they chose rather than a pointless job they felt they
were forced to take just to pay the bills.
Nor should I care what other people make. Nor should I feel embarrassed that at 45
years of age, I am not working at a job that reflects any of the skills I worked
so hard to obtain. And, yes, I see this
job as a humbling experience as well.
Not that I have ever looked down on anyone who works in food service,
but for me, this is not the kind work I enjoy.
I much prefer a job that challenges my logistical skills, and all this
job challenges is my health and my patience!
Besides, I am shy and not really a people person; I would much rather be
behind the scenes, not interacting with endless streams of people. This job is really the wrong fit on so many
levels! Ugh, I’m complaining again!
The absolute main thing I should focus on is that the world
does not revolve around me! I may hate
my job, but I need to remember that God may possibly have placed me there to be
a witness to a specific person or people and when I can think of my job in such
a manner, I can be content. (And by the
way, I do not let my bad attitude show to my customers or co-workers and do my
best to be helpful and polite.) It’s not
about what God can do for me, it’s about what I can do for God and others. I can indeed find the strength of the Lord
when I feel the pain from my neck to my hip making it so I can hardly stand
upright, or have the fourth of fifth asthma attack of the day (even though I
added a daily inhaler to my rescue inhaler 2 years ago). In fact, I pray Philippians 4:13 (see below)
pretty much every time I head out for work and often throughout my shift. I keep reminding myself this is hopefully a
temporary situation, but as long as I am there, I will also remember that I am
not there for my glory, and I will work for the glory of God (see below again).
I cannot say I have been “cured” of being discontent, but I
am working on my outlook. After writing
this blog, all these scripture verses have helped me quite a bit to help me
readjust my attitude. If any of you are
struggling with trying to find contentment, hopefully these verses will help
you as well!
Not that I speak in
regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all
things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to
suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians
4:11-13
Therefore, whether
you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. I Corinthians 10:31
